A Tale of St. Dismus

Disclaimer: This story is a work of fiction. No characters are based on real people, whether living or dead. Any resemblance to a real person is pure coincidence.

I wanted so badly to cancel. To tell the pastor that I couldn't do it alone. But I didn't. Something told me I shouldn't.

I walked into the prison with a bible in my left hand. I walked back to the metal detector and emptied my pockets. The shoes came off too. Almost as if I were boarding a plane. I greeted the guard - one of the Sunday regulars - and emerged beep-less from the detector. A guard lead me through the series of doors that brought me to the inner guard post. From there, another guard walked me to the religious office.

It was my first time without Pastor Thibideaux. I was familiar enough with the regulars, but still scared not only to be there alone but also to have the responsibility of leading the group activities.

I worked through the order in my mind. Opening prayer with a song. Read and interpret from the bible. Group sharing. And then closing prayer. An hour in all.

I heard the bell. And they began to enter. Bill first, as usual. A small squat man with beady eyes and a crooked smile. Then John, a tall burly sort with a bald head. Jim next with his round red face and missing teeth. Followed by Rodrigo - Rodi - a short Latino with glasses. And finally, Graylon, a large black man who reminded me of Michael Clarke Duncan.

We were getting ready to begin when there came a knock at the door. I opened to find a guard with a young man of no more than 25 years who looked like he had just come from college. His eyes were inviting, his face shaven and his smile wide.

'Sir, this is Ricky. He informed his counselor that he wanted to come tonight.'

'Sure' I said, 'Come right in.' Ricky stepped inside and looked around cautiously.

'Go ahead in, Ricky' I said. And so he did. But the guard kept me back for a moment.

'He doesn't talk much, and I wouldn't force the issue if he doesn't.'

'Okay' I responded.

I closed the door and walked back into the chapel where John and Jim were cracking a few harmless jokes. Bill started the tape for our opening song. And Graylon finished passing out the lyrics to the music.

The song ended. We had a moment of silence. And then Graylon passed out the bibles for everyone. The passage was Luke 23: 39-43. As it turned out, it was Bill's favorite passage because it strengthened his faith and hope. The passage in which Jesus tells a criminal with whom he is crucified that it would be the day they would meet in paradise. I discovered within the discussion that the criminal's name was Dismus. And, in fact, he is referred to as St. Dismus.

Then all hell broke loose. A siren sounded; it startled me terribly as I had not heard it before. 'Aww, shit,' said John.

Rodi stood up and walked to the door. 'Guard ain't there,' he said. Then he walked out the door and was gone.

I walked up to the altar and asked everyone to sit down. I then asked how long lockdowns usually lasted. 'Ya never know' responded Bill.

That was when I noticed Ricky rocking in the back of the room. Back and forth as if keeping time to soome melody that we couldn't hear. And he was whispering to himself, but no one could make out what he was saying.

John. turned around and said, 'What the hell's the matter with you?'

I told John that we should get back to our Bible passage. But he didn't listen. Instead he turned around and said, 'Hey freak show, what the hell's your problem?'

Ricky looked up, his eyes a bright, cool blue. 'I do't like bein' stuck.'

John laughed in his face. 'Get over it, freak show.' John turned around and thus didn't see what was coming.

Ricky hauled off and slammed a bible into the back of John's head knocking him cold. He swung next at Jim catching him in the temple. Jim's head fell back against a pew; he was out too.

Bill and Graylon flanked the altar; I stood to the back. Rodi was still out near the front door. That was when Ricky pulled a shank from his pants and started yelling at us, 'Get me outta here! Now!' He just kept yelling it. Repeating it time and again while waving the shank.

Bill and Graylon began to move forward from either side, trying to talk Ricky down. But Ricky wasn't coming down. That's when Rodi came back through the front door and caught Graylon by surprise with a shank of his own. One stab into his side, and Graylon was down and bleeding. Rodi looked up at me and said, 'You're our ticket outta here.' Rodi then turned the shank toward Bill. Ricky and Rodi outflanked him and closed in.

That's when Bill took his own bible and rushed Rodi. Rodi stabbed violently but stuck the shank into the bible, which gave Bill the opportunity to give Rodi a blow to the head with his large forearms. But Bill wasn't quick enough to get back up and defend against Ricky, who stabbed Bill in the small of his back.

That's when the guard rushed in and fired his taser at Ricky, who crumpled to the ground screaming. The guard called for backup and then looked around the area, only to find me paralyzed against the back wall.

'Ma'am you need to come with me.' The guard hurried me out of the room and back to the interior guard post. They questioned me there and then sent me on my way.

I vowed not to go back to the prison after that. I informed the pastor of my decision. He understood.

A few days later, the pastor visited me at my home and told me that Graylon had survived his injuries but that Bill had died. Before he had died however, Bill had asked the pastor to give me his St. Dismus medal. In addition, he had passed along a note. It read, 'It was a miracle you came because I was ready to kill myself after our group meeting. I was just tired. I guess God agreed.'