A Lighter Shade of Dark

It’s been a while since I attempted it.
     Are you in the dark?
No, not in the dark…
     In the light then?
A lighter shade of grey…
     You smoke?
No, why?
     Because you just said you have a gray lighter.
No, I didn’t. And why are you spelling grey with an ‘a’?
     I’m an American.
I won’t hold that against you.
     What is that supposed to mean?
Nothing in particular…
     But an American is a particular.
Yes, there are only two particular continents that contain the name.
     Better than three.
Not as particular as one.
     The loneliest number.
Don’t change the topic.
     Look who’s talking.
Should we get back to our original conversation?
     Were we having one?
I’d like to think so.
     What of it, then?
It’s been a while since I attempted it.
     No kidding.
No, I’m not kidding.
     About the gray lighter?
Who cares about a grey lighter?
     A smoker, I’m sure.
I don’t smoke.
     That’s a good thing; you could catch cancer.
You don’t catch cancer.
     No, I don’t, but my Uncle Al did.
He didn’t catch cancer either.
     You shouldn’t speak ill of the dead.
No one can catch cancer.
     Wow, are you misinformed.
It’s a diagnosis.
     You’re a Gnostic?
I don’t even know what a Gnostic is.
     Someone who believes in Pleroma and a demiurge, oversimplified.
Oh my God, this conversation is ridiculous.
     Well, if you’re a Gnostic, you probably meant oh my gods.
Can we try to get back to the point?
     What point?
It’s been a while since I attempted it.
     Why so long?
Length of time is relative.
     Not sure about that, but Uncle Al was my relative.
Are you trying to piss me off?
     I generally stay away from bodily fluids.
That’s disgusting.
     Yeah, not sure why you brought it up.
This conversation is useless.
     Have you recently had a useful conversation to which to compare?
Not really…
     Why not?
I only have useful conversations in the light of day.
     You should try a useful conversation with me.
It’s been a while since I attempted it.
     Are you in the dark?