Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Video of the Week: Charlie

It has been that kind of day. And the week... no, the month... doesn't promise to get much better. I therefore present to you something more absurd than Albee's The Sandbox and Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead...

Charlie the Unicorn...

Monday, June 29, 2009

It's Personal: Pride

Pride n.
  1. A sense of one's own proper dignity or value; self-respect
  2. An excessively high opinion of oneself; conceit

It was 40 years ago yesterday that the Stonewall Riots began in Greenwich Village in New York City. The first time a group of gay people actively rebelled en masse against civil authorities in the United States.

And it was 140 years ago that the term 'homosexual' first made it into print. Which implies that there were no homosexuals prior to 1869, right?

Right.

I can see you squirming. Gay and straight alike. Why? Because you know there were homosexuals prior to 1869. But I tell you there weren't. How is that? Because that wasn't the term for people of the same sex who were attracted to each other. What was the term? Well, that depends on the culture.

For ancient Greeks, older men had relationships with young boys. (And for those of you who are wondering, there continues to be significant debate about Romans 1:26-27, i.e. whether it in fact condemns homosexuality globally or refers rather to a more specified subset of people engaged in altogether egregious relationships.) For many African cultures, those attracted to the same sex were seen as normal parts of the community. And in many Native American cultures, those attracted to the same sex were commonly considered more powerful and more well rounded with their 'Two Spirits'. Many were shamans.

I know, that didn't really answer the question. Because I don't know exactly the name given to those attracted to the same sex in years before 1869.

Where did homosexual come from? And gay, for that matter?

Homosexual is more a medical term that distinguished those attracted to the same sex from those attracted to the opposite sex (heterosexual). A useful word in the scientification - ok, not really a word - of the world. Taxonomizing - also not a word - the world.

And once there was a label for it, there was opposition. From the medical community considering it an abnormality. From the Church who found some scripture to ensure the condemnation not only of the act but of the people. And from the state, the leaders of which could justify considering homosexuals 'others' much like African Americans or disabled persons. Just ask Hitler.

Think about it. Which professions were you taught to trust the most in this world? Well, I know for me, I was taught to trust doctors, policemen, and priests. I - and the rest of the 'homosexual' world - didn't have a chance. Quite the conspiracy, if you ask me. But not even a conspiracy. Just rampant ignorance.

Gay? Ah yes, well, that became one of many code words for those men and women attracted to the same sex to use with others to see if they happened to be one of them or not. I mean, everyone used the word. Priests. Doctors. Policemen. Hell, even Bing Crosby.

That and other codes got these 'homosexuals' well into the 1960s. But not without violence. And raids of establishments where these 'homosexuals' went. And discrimination. And segregation. And downright evil.

So, a bunch of what some might consider low-lifes decided that enough was enough back in 1969. That though doctors and policemen and priests. And mothers and fathers and brothers and sisters did not accept them for who they were, they were damn well ready to accept themselves.

That's one kind of pride.

And to those doctors and policemen and priests and mothers and fathers and sisters and brothers who neglect and ignore these 'homosexual' men and women for who God made them just because they think they're better, I suggest you analyze that other definition of pride very closely.

Perhaps pride parades - like the one yesterday in Seattle - have lost much of their meaning. Perhaps they are overly sexual in some instances. And perhaps they don't effectively communicate the love that many same-sex couples share. But, they do serve as a reminder that 'homosexual' men and women, who were taxonomized in the late 19th century as being others often not worthy of respect, are in fact sons and daughters of God who will only be - and should only be - judged when they meet their maker.

With that, I wish all of you - 'homosexual' and 'heterosexual' alike - a very happy pride. The self-respecting kind...

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Sporting Rants and Raves (Sunday Edition): June 28, 2009

Happy 49th birthday to Mr. John Elway formerly of the Denver Broncos. Although never a fan of Orange Crush, I respected and admired Elway as one of the greatest QBs of all time. In addition, he participated in one of the best regular season games I've seen, a game that starred Joe Montana as QB of the Kansas City Chiefs against the Broncos' Elway.

Enjoy this trip back in time...


Yankees roll past Mets 5-0
The Yanks are having their way in the Subway Series this year, perhaps doomed by the Castillo drop in their first game. Mr. A.J. Burnett and two Yanks relievers managed to 2-hit the Metropolitans at Citi Field.

Brazil rallies to beat US in Confed Cup final, 3-2
I have mixed feelings about soccer. It's a great sport to play, so I've heard. And even to watch in the stands. In my estimation, it's much like hockey in that the cameras stay glued to the ball and not to the constant machinations away from the ball. To a first time observer - me - soccer looks very much like a fire drill with people descending on a large ball. But I've no doubt that there are formations and intricate strategies associated with the game.

In any case, the United States - after a startling win over heavily favored Spain - had the match against Brazil in the bag. Until they didn't... And found that they had lost 3-2. Alas, poor U.S.

What can Brown do for Indianapolis?
Suddenly, I have a reason to root for the Indianapolis Colts. So, I don't dislike the Colts. I'm rather indifferent, in fact. But now, Mr. Donald Brown formerly of the UCONN Huskies will play for the Colts. And though I'm not a graduate of UCONN, I must admit that UCONN gives to Connecticut the only serious major sports program in the state.

But wait, you might say if you knew I went to the University of Delaware, do you root for the Ravens? Absolutely not, I'd tell you. Why, if Joe Flacco's on the team. Because, I'd say with absolutely no logical reasoning, I just don't like them. And that would be good enough.

Shaq goes back to No. 33
Here is a headline that represents the antithesis of news. Except perhaps for all those retailers who need to know which Cavs jersey to sell. The more important question - and the news of this week - is... Can Shaq push the Cavs and Lebron over the top. I say no. I think the Cavs can win it, but it will be in spite of Shaq and his mouth. But still, it is intriguing.

Answers to Last Week's Trivia
Who had the longest streak of consecutive played games in the history of the MLB?
Cal Ripken
How many games (within 100)?
2,632
How many years did this streak span?
May 30, 1982 - September 20, 1998

In the interests of time, I will take a quick look back in sporting history. Twelve years ago today, Mike Tyson faced Evander Holyfield for the second time. Do you remember what happened?

As far as softball goes, the Thrusters finished at a mediocre 8-8 for the season. And the Buzz finished in 4th at 13-5. Congrats and thanks to both teams for a great season.

And now, I venture out on this perfect Seattle day. To all of my friends and family on the East Coast I hope that you may soon enjoy this weather too...

Until next I write, happy sporting...

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Thursday 13: Surreal Moments

Have you ever had those moments when all you can say is, huh? Or you do a double-take to see if you saw what you just thought you saw? I devote this Thursday 13 to those moment in my life.

  1. It is my first memory. And most of that is blurred by now. I was 3. Spending time over my maternal grandparents' house. As music went, I knew of only one musical group. The Fab Four was indellibly marked in my brain from before I came out of the womb. Well, on December 8, 1980 I called my Uncle Mark and said, 'I'm sorry about John Lemon.'
  2. After the iron had hit my skull a quarter inch from my temple, my neighbor exclaimed, 'You have a hole in your head!' She was right.
  3. In a kitchen with exceptionally ugly powder blue floral wallpaper, my parents sat us down for dinner. A rarity. 'We're getting divorced.'
  4. I stepped onto the stage and walked to the microphone. The moderator said the word. I repeated it. 'S-E-C-R-A-T-A-R-Y'. 'I'm sorry, that is wrong.' That moment before I broke into tears.
  5. I sat on the lower bunk in our apartment after having just moved from a significantly larger house. I realized I'd never see Clancy again. Clancy was the dog...
  6. Playing at Doolittle Park with a friend and my brother, we ran up a shallow embankment. My brother fell, but it seemed no different than any other time he'd fallen. So I laughed at him. Until I realized that his arm was broken. Then I ran home to get my mother.
  7. I tried to grab for his jersey as he flitted past me. It felt as though I barely grazed him. I fell. When I went to get up, one of my teammates exclaimed, 'Dude, your finger isn't supposed to point that way.' My right ring finger had dislocated at the second knuckle and was resting over my middle and index fingers.
  8. I hit the telephone pole hard trying to turn around. In that lively game of Suicide all those years ago. I got out of the car, thinking the old man would kill me. There wasn't a scratch.
  9. I handed her the diamond and ruby ring. 'Will you marry me?' Later, I tried to ask her father for his daughter's hand in marriage. I failed miserably. Mostly because he didn't speak English and my Spanish was questionable at best.
  10. I stepped out of my room at the seminary with no place in particular to go. Dan Kennedy walked by and said, 'A plane just hit the World Trade Center.' I moved to the common room just in time to see the second plane hit.
  11. I called Joseph from the corner of 8th and Olive and asked him where George, Washington was. He didn't get it.
  12. I called a few of my friends who thought I had gone AWOL. 'Hi [insert name here] I'm in Seattle.'
  13. I walked past the big screen television in the lobby today and saw the word 'Dead'. I thought it was another story about Farrah. Then, I saw the 'Michael Jackson' and thought, wha?

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

3WW (Fickle, Sparkle, Wrinkle): An Exercise in Texting

For those of you not visiting from Three Word Wednesday, I encourage you to partake in a rather enjoyable weekly writing exercise. Three words are posted at Three Word Wednesday each week, and you are challenged to use those three words to write a poem, short story, dialogue, etc. Click the link above and see if you can do it.

This week's words: Fickle, Sparkle, Wrinkle


An Exercise in Texting

John: Luv the way ur eyes sparkle. Like stars on a lake.

Nicole: Luv the way ur nose wrinkles when u smile.

John: When am I gonna c u?

Nicole: Whens good 4 u?

John: Whenever

Nicole: So fickle

John: Whats that mean?

Nicole: O u no

John: Krazy lady

Nicole: How do u no?

John: Guessin

Nicole: Good guess

John: Where r u now?

Nicole: Sitting here with the hubby and the kids. U?

John: Starin at u

Nicole: No ur not

John: Ur wearin a purple bathrobe

Nicole: Where r u?

John: Plottin

Nicole: Don't joke

John: Who says im jokin?

Nicole: Whatever

John: So fickle

Nicole: Touche

John: Ull b mine be4 u no it...

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Video of the Week: Not America's Next Top Model

Joseph has a number of different favorite reality television shows. American Idol. Most Shocking. Cops. Dancing with the Stars. But I don't think he enjoys any show more than America's Next Top Model.

And I have to watch it too, at times.

I've learned to tolerate it. Like those who go to watch hockey for the fights or to the racetrack to see a car crash, I watch these women hoping for an absolute train wreck.

You'll see one such train wreck below. As well as some infectious laughter from a few anchors...

Monday, June 22, 2009

It's Personal: Mexico

I have just today realized that I posted not one picture of our time in Mexico. And so I devote this post to those pictures...

Club Med Cancun


The Pool


The Beach


David & Joseph


Our Friends Tara & Ashley


Me Burnt to a Crisp


Joseph & Ashley


A Lizard in Tulum


Joseph Readying to Snorkel


Yankees Fans


Tara & Joseph


The Four Amigos

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Sporting Rants and Raves: June 20, 2009

Happy 26th birthday to Mr. Darren Lee Sproles, a running back for the San Diego Chargers. Sproles has proven himself to be an impressive asset for the Chargers since 2005. Interestingly, Sproles is also officially the shortest man in the NFL.

Ex-NFL QB Kosar File for Bankruptcy
A divorce. Investment in the Arena Football League. A failed steakhouse. Poor Bernie.

Leaf surrenders on theft, drug charges
Another QB shows his worth by partaking in burglary and drugs.

Stallworth suspended indefinitely by NFL
And a receiver who drank too much decided he would drive. And subsequently kills a man.

They are to blame; there's no argument there. But, are we? The majority of football fans treat these men like gods. Or demagogues. But either way, we give them much more power than they should have. How? We pay ungodly amounts to watch them play. We tune into games to watch women beaters and steroid users play putting out of our minds the latest allegations. I'm pleased the Mr. Goodell has decided to suspend the likes of Stallworth indefinitely. It's about time someone had the guts to tell these men that they aren't above the law. If only they could hear it earlier in their lives.

Answers to Last Week's Trivia of the Week
Name the last team prior to the Pittsburgh Penguins (pro basketball, baseball, or hockey) to win a Game 7 - and therefore a championship - at the opposition's venue.
Pittsburgh Pirates
What cities have hosted at least 2 titles in the same year in the 4 major sports (MLB, NBA, NHL, NFL)?
  • 1928 - Yankees and Rangers (New York)
  • 1933 - Giants (baseball) and Rangers (New York)
  • 1935 - Tigers and Lions (Detroit)
  • 1938 - Yankees and Giants (football) (New York)
  • 1952 - Lions and Red Wings (Detroit)
  • 1956 - Yankees and Giants (football) (New York)
  • 1969 - Mets and Jets (New York)
  • 1979 - Pirates and Steelers (Pittsburgh)
  • 1988 - Dodgers and Lakers (Los Angeles)
  • 2004 - Red Sox and Patriots (Boston)
  • 2009 - Steelers and Penguins (Pittsburgh)

Phillies' Howard hospitalized due to flu
It seems the longest streak in baseball (324 games) is about to be broken... by a 104 degree fever. And other flu-like symptoms.

Trivia of the Week
Who had the longest streak of consecutive played games in the history of the MLB? How many games (within 100)? How many years did this streak span?

Jackson leaves Auerbach in the past
And so the debate rages on. Red or Phil. Celtics or Bulls / Lakers. Bill Russell v. Michael Jordan / Kobe Bryant. Who was the better coach? I know better than to try my hand at a discussion about which I know very little. Basketball isn't my forte. And I never saw Auerbach coach. So, I open it to you. What do you think?

Barnes' 8-under sets 36-hole Open record
Umm... who? Uh... what? Yeah, not what anyone expected. A -8. A new record for the Open. With Tiger and Lefty nowhere to be seen. And talk about the rain...

I watched an MMA (Mixed Martial Arts) match this past weekend. The guy who lost broke both his hands and was stuck with using his elbows. I don't get it.

Also watched part of the Egypt - Italy football match on television during lunch on Thursday. I do get that. But I wonder why it is the most popular sport in the world.

And so, I leave you now to make the lineups for tomorrow's softball games. The Buzz have the opportunity to beat the 1st and 4th place teams after having lost to the 2nd place team in extra innings last weekend. Wish us luck. And until next I write, happy sporting.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Thursday 13: Absurdities

Good evening all. Before I come to the absurdities section of our programming, I need to give the answers to last week's Thursday 13... The Hawaiian Alphabet. If you have forgotten - or if you didn't look in the first place - here's the link: Thursday 13: Hawaiian Alphabet.
  1. W (Woodrow Wilson)
  2. N (Nitrogen)
  3. I
  4. A
  5. M
  6. U
  7. K
  8. H (Herbert Hoover)
  9. O
  10. L
  11. E
  12. P
  13. 'okina

Without further ado, I give you 13 absurd thoughts. If they don't make sense to you, don't worry too much because I most likely have no idea myself.
  1. I vote to reinstate the Persians. Who ever heard of an Iranian rug?
  2. I've never seen a Walloon with a balloon.
  3. Does a cat that comes back as a cat after being reincarnated have another 9 lives?
  4. The straightest distance between two points is a short line.
  5. If God is all powerful, can He create a box from which he cannot escape?
  6. A Few Good White Men Can't Jump
  7. Yeah, I know a softball was actually soft at some point. But I have the bruises to prove it ain't so soft anymore. I propose 'large hard ball' or 'Lardball'.
  8. Can someone please swat the PETA people upside their heads? All of them?
  9. If I were a doctor and I had to examine a hockey player from the Czech Republic who had been slammed hard into the boards, would I have checked a checked Czech?
  10. When I see blue, I know you see what I'd consider to be brick red. Except you know it as blue too.
  11. I asked the Magic Eight Ball if it tells the truth. It said 'Outlook Not So Good'.
  12. If you happen to know the history of the future, can you change it?
  13. The Guinea pig is neither a pig nor is it from Guinea. Discuss.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

3WW (Arresting, Rhythmic, Wicked): American Sentences

American Sentences: They are haiku-length poems that Allen Ginsburg suggested be limited to 17 syllables, like haiku in Japanese and like the Heart Sutra in Buddhism. The following two sentences are such American Sentences of 17 syllables.

Arresting the wicked man was made difficult by his rhythmic voice.

Her arresting traits and bold, rhythmic stutter made me think wicked thoughts.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Video of the Week: The Great Dane

Tonight, I give you a true artist. A man of Danish birth and Jewish ancestry who caught the last neutral ship from Petsamo, Finland to the United States, this man escaped the Nazis by a hair. And when he arrived in America, he had $17 and absolutely no skill in English. But with his remarkable musical talent and his wonderfully dry humor, he made it big.

I give you two of his pieces. One spoken, one played on the piano.

Ladies and gentleman, the Clown Prince of Denmark... the Great Dane...

Mr. Victor Borge...

Inflationary Language


Happy Birthday

Monday, June 15, 2009

It's Personal: Baseball Part II

When baseball is no longer fun, it's no longer a game. -Joe DiMaggio

When last I spoke of baseball, the 2009 season had only barely begun. The Mariners were off to a strong start. The Yanks weren't. And every teams' fans were hopeful that this could be the year. Even those fans of the Cubbies.

I give you the link to refresh your memory: It's Personal: Baseball Part I

I had just succeeded in winning a championship of sorts on the ServiceMaster sponsored team. And it was time to grow up, i.e. move into Little League. That meant the royal blue and tacky yellow of Ulbrich - a major processor and distributor of stainless steel, nickel alloys, titanium, and other special metals.

I spent a few years on Ulbrich.

During that first year, we were winless. And most of the guys didn't seem to care. Neither did the coach, for that matter. So, we were the butts of endless adolescent jokes. Lots of fun for a kid who didn't feel great about himself in the first place.

But that was the year when I first started playing catcher, a position I must admit I enjoyed thoroughly.

The second year, my father took the reigns and became the Ulbrich coach. In addition, my brother moved into the league. A pitcher, he and I became a better than average battery. Though I can't say Ulbrich became a much better team. We just didn't have the talent. Because we didn't have the popular kids. A scenario to which I became accustomed over time.

The third year, we were better, but not good enough to vie for a championship of any kind. Only good enough not to be the butts of jokes.

I remember only one game on Ulbrich clearly. We were playing Tech Circuits, a team that had the kid who was considered the meanest kid in the league. He liked to slide into people to hurt them. Or, if he were particularly ornery, he'd just run through a guy. Above all people, he angered me the most. Almost to the point of pubescent hatred. And so I approached that game like I have approached few games in my life - with a huge chip on my shoulder. I had a single, a double, and a triple in that game. (I've never actually hit a home run in any organized game.) And I got run over by that meanest of kids in a play at home. But I held onto the ball. Boy, did my nose bleed that day...

I graduated from Ulbrich to the Babe Ruth League. I was marginal at best, though I kept my place at catcher. I played mostly with guys from the other side of the tracks (which in Wallingford meant future Sheehan grads) so I never really clicked with them. Instead, I just endured and played the game because I thought it was expected of me.

After a year of Babe Ruth, I joined the Lyman Hall Trojans baseball team in February, 1992. I stopped being a catcher and instead became an outfielder. A right fielder, to be exact. Where marginal high school freshmen fade away.

My sophomore and junior years followed in much the same way. I rarely impressed the coaches with my skill; it was my work ethic that kept me on the team. On those rare occasions - including a catch on a dead run in the freshman game against North Haven and a double to the fence in Doolittle Park after some tips from the old man - I beamed proudly and received the astonished encouragement of my coaches and teammates. I only wish those occasions were more than occasional.

My senior year. Again, I went out for the team. I actually hit a single in the first practice game against the Platt Panthers. I made the team again. Because of my work ethic. But I wasn't good enough to play. I knew it. The team knew it. The coach knew it. I therefore had a choice. To stay on the team and be a glorified manager who could keep score and cheer for the team. Or to quit the team and enjoy my final spring in high school.

I folded my uniform for the last time and found the head coach. I handed him the uniform without a word. He took the uniform under one arm and extended his hand. 'You're a great guy; I know you're gonna be successful,' the coach said in that awkward way that coaches have in those situations. We shook hands and I exited the gym, no longer a baseball player.

It just wasn't fun anymore.

I haven't played baseball since...

But I didn't stop loving the game. Not to mention the fact that there exists a game much akin to baseball for those like me. And I ain't talkin' 'bout cricket...

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Sporting Rants and Raves: June 13, 2009

Happy 29th birthday to my very own brother Richard who begins his final year in his 20s. A rather good athlete in his own right, Richard played football, basketball, and baseball for Platt High School in Meriden. He then moved on to play college baseball for the Owls of Southern Connecticut State University. Happy Birthday little bro!

Now for a brief look at the headlines...

Calhoun Collapses
In a 50-mile charity race, the 67 year old Calhoun hit a pothole at approximately mile 34 along the route causing him to fall and break 5 ribs. He then got back on and finished the race. He collapsed soon after. A few things...
  • This guy - who was treated for dehydration during the NCAA tournament this past March and who has been treated for cancer 3 separate times - must be either crazy or in really good shape. Or both.
  • A pothole that could cause the guy to break 5 ribs? Was Calhoun blind? And who chose this route?
  • Back to the guy... Calhoun got back on and finished. If you don't feel 1 broken rib, okay, you have an adrenaline rush. I'll buy it. But 5? Jim, what were you thinking?
  • Jim, stick to basketball. Maybe you'll consider coaching kids to play H-O-R-S-E in some charity event closer to your specialty.


Gay Leads St. Jude
A headline offensive to Catholics everywhere. Or some unfortunate surnamed sap who happens to be winning in a Memphis, TN golf tournament. Yes on both counts...

Orton Is Starter; Marshall Absent Again
I predict that Chris Simms will start at least 3 games, Orton will single-handedly lose 3 games, and that Marshall will change his name to Beast and dye his skin an electric blue.

Mets Bounce Back to Beat Yanks 6-2
Instead of reading 'Mets Take 2 at Yanks New Home' the Metropolitans had to find a way to bounce back. I can't adequately describe what happened last evening. So I'll let the video speak for itself:


Wings Miffed Over Crosby Handshake Snub
Honestly? Pittsburgh wins the Stanley Cup making Pittsburgh the official Titletown for 2009, and this happens to be the headline? The guy was celebrating. And then he came over to shake the Wings' hands. This headline should read Crosby Celebrates and Pisses Off Sore Losers. Sheesh...

Answer to last week's Trivia of the Week:
In last week's Sporting Rants and Raves: June 6, 2009, I asked you to connect the BAA cities with their respective mascots. How did you do?

* Baltimore Bullets (1947-50)
* Chicago Stags (1946-49)
* Rochester Royals (1947-48)^
* Cleveland Rebels (1946-47)
* Detroit Falcons (1946-47)
* Indianapolis Jets (1948-49)
* New York Knickerbockers (1946-49)^
* Pittsburgh Ironmen (1946-47)
* Providence Steamrollers (1946-49)
* Sheboygan Redskins (1949-50)
* St. Louis Bombers (1946-49)
* Toronto Huskies (1946-47)
* Washington Capitols (1946-49)
* Boston Celtics (1946-49)^
* Minneapolis Lakers (1948-49)^
* Fort Wayne Pistons (1948-49)^
* Philadelphia Warriors (1946-49)^
^Moved to the NBA

Trivia of the Week:
Name the last team (pro basketball, baseball, or hockey) to win a Game 7 - and therefore a championship - at the opposition's venue. What cities have hosted at least 2 titles in the same year in the 4 major sports (MLB, NBA, NHL, NFL)?

Umpire Ejects Entire Crowd from High School Baseball Game
This Iowa umpire went the distance in this one. He built the case and the police came. And even thought the police didn't agree with the ump's assessment, they eased his pain. Perhaps this guy should get beat with a crowbar...

Aikman Graduates from UCLA... 21 Years After Leaving Westwood
A great story. And a class act. I could never root for him as a Cowboy. But I can thank him for proving to be a good role model. Barkley, go eat your shorts...

Rockies Slide Past Mariners
Rockies are 10-0 in their last 10 games. And still only in third in the NL West. The Mariners are 6-4 in their last 10 games. And third in the AL West. Each team has the exact same record. Where am I going with this line of stats? I have no idea...

Magic Aiming to Make History with Comeback
Yeah, okay. I don't believe in Magic. Well, Orlando's Magic. I do believe in the other Magic. LA's. And I'm not happy about it.

I've heard the final buzzer (of the dryer). Time for me to exit stage left. If you have anything you'd like me to address, please let me know. In the meantime, happy sporting...

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Thursday 13: Hawaiian Alphabet

An interesting fact... The Hawaiian alphabet has 13 letters. What's that, you ask... what are those letters? (Okay, so I know none of you truly care that much, but play along anyway.) And therefore, in no particular order, I give you each letter. Well, not really. Just a hint at determining each letter. I'm not just going to cop out and list letters after all. That would be boring...

  1. The only Democratic president that had first and last names beginning with the same letter. Name the letter.
  2. The symbol of the chemical element with atomic number = 7. The chemical element is used to preserve the freshness of packaged foods, to reduce fire hazards in military aircraft fuel systems, and to pressurize kegs of some beers.
  3. A 'y' is a Greek one.
  4. The vitamin associated with retinas.
  5. Bernard Lee, Robert Brown, and Judi Dench all have this letter in common. And I'm not talking about the respective letters in their names. In fact, this letter doesn't appear in any of their respective names.
  6. A common modern abbreviation for a second-person personal pronoun.
  7. The more senior agent, he read tabloids and spoke to Remoolian pugs.
  8. One of two Republican presidents that had first and last names beginning with the same letter. Name the letter. (And it isn't the 'Silent' one.)
  9. This magazine almost always has the same person on its cover. And all her life, she's had to fight.
  10. The Super Bowl in 2017
  11. A very irrational 2.71828182845904523536... according to Euler
  12. While watching Wheel of Fortune one day, my grandmother exclaimed to one of the contestants, 'You shoulda took a _'. As small children, my brother and I thought it rather amusing.
  13. Not to disappoint, but there is no clue for this last 'letter'. It is a glottal stop best represented by the dash in 'uh-oh!'. Or by the apostrophe in Hawai'i. Go figure...

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

3WW (Dangerous, Restless, Keepsake): American Sentences

American Sentences: They are haiku-length poems that Allen Ginsburg suggested be limited to 17 syllables, like haiku in Japanese and like the Heart Sutra in Buddhism. The following two sentences are such American Sentences of 17 syllables.

He with his dangerous keepsake makes all the devout Christians restless.

The restless and dangerous man offered me a heartwarming keepsake.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Video of the Week: Six Sigma Training

For anyone with whom I work, this will most assuredly make you laugh...

And for those who have absolutely no idea, well, let's just say this is what we're doing at work minus the singing...

Enjoy...

Monday, June 8, 2009

It's Personal: Golf

My introduction to golf came at a young age. I was 5, I think. Standing in the hideout (a shaded area in the corner of our yard that had a very climbable tree) with neighbors Eric and Kelly. Eric was probably about 10 years older than I. Kelly was my age. Eric enjoyed golf and swung his clubs constantly. On that day he had an iron. And indeed he was swinging away.

Well, I decided to bend down and pick up a stick. Not for any paticular reason, mind you. Just because it was there. What I got was a hole in my dead. Quite literally. I didn't actually feel the impact. But when I put my hand to my head, I felt the warm oozing blood. Off to the emergency room I went for 7 stitches near my temple.

Not the best introduction.

I didn't think much of golf growing up. Apart from the occasional Saturday or Sunday afternoon watching my grandfather's television, I knew very little about golf and its terminology. Eagles and irons and putts and drivers. A mulligan here. A slice there. Chi Chi and some guy names Love. Jack 'Nicholson' as I used to call him. And the Zinger, one of my grandfather's favorite names to say.

There was mini-golf, of course. Windmills and loop-de-loops. Water traps and sand bunkers. I wonder if that place in North Haven with the go-carts and mini-golf is still open...

Then came my time at the Church of the Incarnation in Wethersfield. A monsignor there bought me golf lessons with a real live pro. It was on the Hartford - Wethersfield border, though I couldn't tell you its exact name. And there I went for at least two months to see a short, leather-skinned guy with a good shot and a big personality. I didn't have clubs at the time, so he leant me one. A 5-iron. He told me it was all I needed. And, in fact, I didn't hit with another club the entire time.

He set me in my stance. Taught me the grip. And then taught me the swing. At first, I white-knuckled the club and swung as if for the fences; the ball consistently went about 10 feet. Relax, he told me. Not the easiest advice for me to hear. But eventually, I practiced enough and relaxed myself. Hitting a 5-iron anywhere between 150-170 feet. Or so the guy said. Had no idea if that's a good thing. (And, I ashamedly still don't.)

In the midst of this, my grandfather - the one who watches golf - thought it a good idea to surprise me with money to purchase clubs. And not just any clubs but clubs that were created specifically for me. It just so happens the monsignor knew a family from Scotland who made personalized clubs. So, he brought me to their warehouse. And an older gentleman in that family had me swing the clubs in order to capture the proper dimensions of my swing.

A short time later, I had clubs.

So, the monsignor took me out to play. I put the ball down and took out my driver. I swung like I'd been taught - on a 5-iron - and put the ball somewhere into a body of water in someone's backyard. Or something.

'Have you ever hit with a driver?' the monsignor asked.

'No.'

'What club did you learn with?'

'A 5-iron.'

'Why don't you use the 5-iron?'

'Okay.'

And that's just what I did for 9 holes. I did much better with the 5-iron. But still felt uber-self-conscious.

I didn't play again in the seminary. (Though I went to countless driving ranges with my 5-iron.)

I moved to Seattle in my half-packed Mitsubishi Galant. Didn't bring the clubs.

So, when I went home for my brother's college graduation, I purchased a bag for the clubs so I could ship them back home on the plane.

I did that.

They got here safely.

I've been to the Interbay driving range a few times - a driving range in Seattle. And it felt good.

But you know, I've never been on a course to golf again?

I think that infamous introduction to golf is still in my head. And I have the scar to prove it.

Saturday, June 6, 2009

Sporting Rants and Raves: June 6, 2009

I take a moment to reflect on the actions of the brave British, Canadian, Polish, Norwegian, French, and American men who stormed the beaches at Normandy. Now 65 years later, there are fewer and fewer men for us to honor, which makes it all the more important to do so while we can...

Happy 39th birthday to Mr. Anthony Norris aka Ahmed Johnson and happy 24th birthday to Mr. Drew Galloway aka Drew MacIntyre. A former and present professional wrestler respectively, these men have never really professionally wrestled, but rather they've flitted about wrestling rings like meatheaded ballerinas. Not to take anything away from them, of course, since they (1) made/make a lot of money and (2) are rather athletic.

Belmont today. No Triple Crown threat this year. So, who do you choose. The candidates... Chocolate Candy, Dunkirk, Mr. Hot Stuff, Summer Bird, Luv Gov, Charitable Man, Mine That Bird, Flying Private, Miner’s Escape, and Brave Victory. Since I know next to nothing about horse racing - apart from the handicapping tips Brian once bestowed on me - I'll choose Luv Gov. And now that I look back at the odds, this figures. A 20-1 shot.

Yanks lose 9-7 even after Tampa commits 4 errors. A few good hits against Mariano Rivera in the 9th. For the second time this year. Has Rivera lost it? Nah. But at almost 40 years of age, I can't imagine he's long for the league.

Answer to last week's Trivia of the Week: Osi Umenyiora is 1 of 3 people originally born in this country to win a Super Bowl. Who are the other 2? - Scott McCready, Lawrence Tynes

Why does Favre's agent have to say that Favre's 'still' retired? I'm just tired of it. I don't even care if Favre - or his agent - get into the Hall of Fame at this point. I'd just like for him to stay quiet and enjoy the mudflats of Mississippi.

Lakers sink Magic. 100-75. Second game of the finals tomorrow. I'm not expecting much from the Magic, to be honest, though I'm rooting for them. I just don't know that they have what they need to beat the Lakers. A little magic, perhaps...

In the less popular though more exciting NHL finals, the Red Wings and Penguins are tied at 2. Detroit with 2 3-1 wins in the first 2 games. The Pens with 2 4-2 wins in the second two games. Fascinating trend if I may say so.

Top 5 in college baseball at this moment? UC Irvine. LSU. Cal State Fullerton. Arizona State. Texas.

Thrusters lost another 2 to bring us to 1 over .500. Not the best season. But still love the team.

As for the Buzz, they went 1-1. A single in the bottom of the 9th sealed their fate. Alas. So, now 10-3 and ready to win this weekend.

Today in History:

1946: The Basketball Association of America is founded. This league later merged with the NBA. Teams that came from the BAA?

Trivia of the Week: Match the BAA cities to the mascots. Some are easy. Most are not.

City
Mascot
Baltimore
Celtics
Chicago
Jets
Rochester
Warriors
Cleveland
Ironmen
Detroit
Stags
Indianapolis
Bombers
New York
Steamrollers
Pittsburgh
Royals
Providence
Lakers
Sheboygan
Knickerbockers
St. Louis
Capitols
Toronto
Huskies
Washington
Pistons
Boston
Rebels
Minneapolis
Bullets
Fort Wayne
Redskins
Philadelphia
Falcons

1968: Don Drysdale of the Los Angeles Dodgers throws his record 58th consecutive scoreless inning.

That's all I have for this week. Until next I write, happy sporting...

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Thursday 13: My Least Favorite Teams

Inspired by Facebook, I have decided to list those teams that land at the bottom of my list. I just can't, in good conscience, root for them...
  1. In honor of the job they're doing this evening, I have decided to put the Los Angeles Lakers at the top of the list. Not because they're my absolute least favorite team (well, in the NBA they are), but because they come to mind first.
  2. The Minnesota Wild because their name is stupid. I want the Minnesota North Stars back.
  3. Cheshire High Football of the early to mid 90s. I suppose the dislike bordered on respect, similar to that I have for the Pittsburgh Steelers. But I still wanted to see them lose. I actually had a second’s hesitation when deciding whether to cheer for Cheshire or Sheehan. Only a moment’s…
  4. The Baltimore Ravens. I don't have a great reason. Other than the fact they have a murderer playing for them. Or that Art Modell pulled the Browns out of Cleveland. Or that they're one of the dirtiest teams in football.
  5. The Oklahoma City Thunder. As an almost 7-year Seattlite, I witnessed the ridiculousness and politics that spelled the end of the Seattle SuperSonics. And honestly, Seattle should still have a team but for Howard Schultz and Clay Bennett.
  6. The Maloney Spartans to support most of my family.
  7. The Philadelphia Eagles (qualified) with Buddy Ryan as head coach. I hated them more than I did the Cowboys growing up.
  8. USC. Both because of the old man’s favorite Notre Dame and because I live in Washington.
  9. The Oakland Raiders (qualified) while Al Davis remains the owner. I can't agree with a guy that almost intends his team to self destruct every year.
  10. Duke. I'm a UCONN fan. Sue me.
  11. The Sheehan Titans. No explanation needed.
  12. The Boston Red Sox. Dogs and Red Sox fans, stay off the grass.
  13. The Dallas Cowboys. Even when Parcells was the coach. Tuna, how could you?

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

3WW (Ordinary, Folly, Hostile): Nothing Out of the Ordinary

An ordinary day. That’s how it started. The nails-on-chalkboard voice of the bitchy radio announcer insulting people to hide her insecurities. I hate waking up to her, but I can’t wake up to anything else.

Midday on an ordinary day. I ask for ham and cheese with lettuce and mustard. The guy hands me a bologna and cheese with tomato and mayo. Really? I give him a hostile glance and toss the sandwich at him. A whitish tomato lands on him; it looks like a brooch my grandmother would wear.

Going home on an ordinary day. I catch the bus. Ah, the stink of bad breath. I have a particularly funky specimen sit next to me. Long beard and overcoat on a day too hot for both. He pulls out a Fodor travel guide about Alaska. I make the mistake of looking over at the book. He takes the queue I haven’t given him. ‘I’m reading about Seward’s Folly. You know what that is?’

I answer, ‘I don’t really care.’ I really don’t.

Falling asleep on an ordinary day. Empty beer cans on the floor. Sweat on my brow. The windows cracked and covered with makeshift curtains. The sun guard in the windshield. Hopefully, the cops won’t ask any questions tonight. I don’t know if I have enough juice in my battery to move.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Video of the Week: Penny for Your Thoughts

It has been a long time since I've actively pursued my interest in numismatics. I remember a time spending hours on end sifting through pennies, nickels, dimes, quarters, and half dollars attempting to determine their respective worth. And siphoning them into appropriate holders. I still have Flying Eagle pennies, Barber dimes, silver nickels, and Franklin half dollars lingering in a safe spot.

This is the reason that this video below caught my eye. An interesting look back at the penny. And an equally interesting question about the ongoing need for a dying coin. I give to you a penny for your thoughts...

Monday, June 1, 2009

It's Personal: Heat and Humidity

I'm not a fan.

Not even a little bit of a fan.

Not when I was partaking in football double sessions during the waning summer season.

Not when I played baseball in full catcher's gear on a scorching July day.

Not when I sat in a non-air conditioned Moses Y. Beach gym for a makeshift summer camp.

But one of those instances trumps them all. A day like none I've ever felt...

It was our first vacation together as a trio. The old man, my brother, and I. The summer after the divorce. A couple weeks spent with the old man at various historical sites in Washington D.C. and Virginia. A fan of Colonial America and the Revolutionary War at approximately 12 years of age, I wanted to see Williamsburg and Yorktown. Not to mention the sites in our nation's capital.

The old man had an idea. Most likely to keep costs down a bit. We would go camping. Tenting is the more appropriate designation. And thus after a long day of spectating, we retired to our campsite.

Everything was moist. The blankets. The clothes. Paper towels and napkins. Everything...

The heat was stifling. Even at night when the air should have been cooler, it felt as if the sun shone on a giant black comforter held over us by some evil divinity.

The old man grilled a few burgers - which didn't help with the heat - and gave them to us. I stuffed a few bites into my mouth and chewed hesitantly. My brother refused to eat at all. The old man almost had to force the food into his throat.

Dinner didn't go particularly well.

After dinner, we decided that it was best just to go to sleep. And so we tried. To no avail.

Some time during the night, the old man heard movement by the Astrovan. He went to investigate. And got sprayed by an unhappily startled skunk. An odor that stagnant heat and humidity does not allow to pass quickly.

The moment of truth had come...

We moved to a hotel the next night and basked in the wonderfully meager room replete with the constantly blowing cold air.