The prompt this week is, "I come from..." or if you like you could try, "I came from..." This is all about your perspective. Where did you start? Where do you start? How did it all begin? Where do you stand right now? Where exactly do you come from?
Foot in the door, my partner gets me my first opportunity in corporate America.
Contracted for a project that corrected statements so we could determine balances.
A big break, the result of a crazy fired lady screaming at the top of her lungs.
Ten keyed to my heart’s content and returned lots of money to lawyers. Sorry.
A rare accounting supervisor, unanimously elected by those who had trained me.
Supervised a tad inside the Lion’s Den, a short stay.
An interesting request from a controller, go find out what he’s doing.
Managed portfolios of accounts and stood inside the doorway of an ornery man.
Some interest from another department, let’s see what you’ve got.
Gathered requirements, made nice with Operations, and tested an application or two.
Off to another job, she left me wondering if I could fill her shoes.
Managed a project or seven and learned a great deal more about politics.
A shot in the dark, tried my luck at applying for a reach position.
Leading. And working with a client to help them determine their own balances.
Showing posts with label work. Show all posts
Showing posts with label work. Show all posts
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Monday, November 17, 2008
November 17, 2008 - Stream of Consciousness
In my attempts to find a voice, a niche, a unique way of saying, hey look over here at the words that are coming out of my fingertips, I will be embarking on different expressions through language. Until now, my posts have been of the calm, cool, and collected variety. And you'll still see that. Perhaps even most of the time. But on some days, it just doesn't suffice. So, without further ado - or adieu to those who oppose ado - I give to you a stream into which you cannot step twice...
half and half. asleep awake. i have to pee. pee then. but too comfortable. but the peeing takes precedence. five ante meridian. back under the warm covers in the cold house. radio comes on five oh five ante meridian. oy. hit the button. back to sleep. dreams upon rooftops in old diners... the radio again. damn the double alarm system. oh the weather outside is frightful. isn't it november somethingteenth i ask my half and half self. yes yes but this station has begun it's all christmas all the time programming. unfreakingbelievable...
dogs cleo first who elbows her way past without elbows. buddy who speeds past and begins the leaping extravaganza. retrieve the bowls. buddy leaping. fill the bowls. buddy leaping. place the bowls on the ground. buddy leaping. he's all friggin ten lords a leaping. sit. the drool has somehow been flung from his lips to the middle of his back. how the hell... come in i say and they rush to the bowls. sitting. waiting. cleo stares at the food daring it to leave her bowl. buddy stares at me daring me not to say take it. TAKE IT, i utter. they go to town.
out to potty. in again.
cut the cheese... bagel. then mine too. pull the pasta that joseph'll eat. and some dried fruit and nuts. i am what i need. a fruit and nuts.
shower. fantasy football in which i've been decimated by a girl. mouthwash and socks on. pack the bag. pet the dog. floss and brush. shirt and jeans. no not those jeans. and belt and undershirt. not in that order and not simultaneously. but it all happened.
the car. the bus. sleepiness pervades. all those others. not me. too wound up about work. too many things that grab my attention. hitler setting up his war with the poles. just read about august thirty-one nineteen thirty-nine. same day my great aunt and uncle got married. both polish. but not in poland. thank goodness for mid-sized fruit snacks.
work. and it begins. pete summons. bminis. what are you working on he asks and i smirk and say nothing on the bmini list. none of it's important. so no resources he says. and i say i need no people.
on to what i call pm work. p is for project m is for murder. that's not right. management that's it. same difference. all that bureaucratic overhead that keeps people honest. all the stuff you'd forget about if there weren't this annoying voice saying did you do this and that and some other damn thing.
work on hca and ads ebn. acronyms run amok. hospital corporation of america and alliance data systems electronic bankruptcy noticing. yeah, a mouthful. and separate. clients. hca is one. ads is another. we're offering a service called ebn. no i won't explain it all here. no it doesn't make us any money. yes i know that's dumb. well, not dumb dumb since there's no real speaking involved but stupid dumb. suffice it to say i spent thirty some odd minutes doing stuff for these projects.
into the ads meeting. called scott in austin a developer. asked if we were ready to go to production monday. received some head nodding and a few flicks of the fingernails. inspiring future leaders is what it's all about for me. hello anyone home. lights were on at least. got most of my questions answered and moved on.
into the weekly deliverable review. a meeting we used to call a status meeting once upon a time when we all had a clue what was important and what wasn't. now it's a free for all come as you are spout about stuff don't expect anyone to listen jolly good time. i sit and listen for as long as i can or until i have another meeting which happened to be just thirty minutes later thanks for small favors.
to the ceo's office to talk about the lake mary venture. i run it. task list. action items. contacts. long term tasks. open questions. broken promises. silent auctions. all that happy stuff. successful meeting, methinks.
more pm work which in the middle of the day means i'm just trying to figure out if i'm still in seattle or if i've been transported to some odd planet like hoth kronos or mississippi.
at noon a meeting to determine our strategic direction. we call it strateejery. and boy were we stratejeric. or something. we talked about things at length. none of which i can disclose because it involves national security. wmds to be precise.
six sigma training debrief followed. we all debriefed. didn't think i worked for a bunch of nudists interested in process improvement huh.
had more meetings. won't bore you with the details. something having to do with attempting to choose balances for accounts because the owner of the accounts a really big BANK in the united states OF AMERICA doesn't know the balance themselves. inspiring huh. and there was another meeting about something that then lead to the star wars clone wars cartoon that i haven't watched. and then something about password protecting a spreadsheet that has a password that i can't mention that was the winner of the nineteen sixty-nine world series. and other stuff too.
i left because i did. and caught the bus. and read about hitler again. and got off the bus. and walked home. and let out the dogs. and sat down. and wrote in my attempts to find a voice a niche a unique way of saying hey look over here at the words that are coming out of my fingertips i will be embarking on different expressions through language. until now my posts have been of the calm cool and collected variety. and you'll still see that. perhaps even most of the time. but on some days it just doesn't suffice. so without further ado or adieu to those who oppose ado i give to you a stream into which you cannot step twice...
half and half. asleep awake. i have to pee. pee then. but too comfortable. but the peeing takes precedence. five ante meridian. back under the warm covers in the cold house. radio comes on five oh five ante meridian. oy. hit the button. back to sleep. dreams upon rooftops in old diners... the radio again. damn the double alarm system. oh the weather outside is frightful. isn't it november somethingteenth i ask my half and half self. yes yes but this station has begun it's all christmas all the time programming. unfreakingbelievable...
dogs cleo first who elbows her way past without elbows. buddy who speeds past and begins the leaping extravaganza. retrieve the bowls. buddy leaping. fill the bowls. buddy leaping. place the bowls on the ground. buddy leaping. he's all friggin ten lords a leaping. sit. the drool has somehow been flung from his lips to the middle of his back. how the hell... come in i say and they rush to the bowls. sitting. waiting. cleo stares at the food daring it to leave her bowl. buddy stares at me daring me not to say take it. TAKE IT, i utter. they go to town.
out to potty. in again.
cut the cheese... bagel. then mine too. pull the pasta that joseph'll eat. and some dried fruit and nuts. i am what i need. a fruit and nuts.
shower. fantasy football in which i've been decimated by a girl. mouthwash and socks on. pack the bag. pet the dog. floss and brush. shirt and jeans. no not those jeans. and belt and undershirt. not in that order and not simultaneously. but it all happened.
the car. the bus. sleepiness pervades. all those others. not me. too wound up about work. too many things that grab my attention. hitler setting up his war with the poles. just read about august thirty-one nineteen thirty-nine. same day my great aunt and uncle got married. both polish. but not in poland. thank goodness for mid-sized fruit snacks.
work. and it begins. pete summons. bminis. what are you working on he asks and i smirk and say nothing on the bmini list. none of it's important. so no resources he says. and i say i need no people.
on to what i call pm work. p is for project m is for murder. that's not right. management that's it. same difference. all that bureaucratic overhead that keeps people honest. all the stuff you'd forget about if there weren't this annoying voice saying did you do this and that and some other damn thing.
work on hca and ads ebn. acronyms run amok. hospital corporation of america and alliance data systems electronic bankruptcy noticing. yeah, a mouthful. and separate. clients. hca is one. ads is another. we're offering a service called ebn. no i won't explain it all here. no it doesn't make us any money. yes i know that's dumb. well, not dumb dumb since there's no real speaking involved but stupid dumb. suffice it to say i spent thirty some odd minutes doing stuff for these projects.
into the ads meeting. called scott in austin a developer. asked if we were ready to go to production monday. received some head nodding and a few flicks of the fingernails. inspiring future leaders is what it's all about for me. hello anyone home. lights were on at least. got most of my questions answered and moved on.
into the weekly deliverable review. a meeting we used to call a status meeting once upon a time when we all had a clue what was important and what wasn't. now it's a free for all come as you are spout about stuff don't expect anyone to listen jolly good time. i sit and listen for as long as i can or until i have another meeting which happened to be just thirty minutes later thanks for small favors.
to the ceo's office to talk about the lake mary venture. i run it. task list. action items. contacts. long term tasks. open questions. broken promises. silent auctions. all that happy stuff. successful meeting, methinks.
more pm work which in the middle of the day means i'm just trying to figure out if i'm still in seattle or if i've been transported to some odd planet like hoth kronos or mississippi.
at noon a meeting to determine our strategic direction. we call it strateejery. and boy were we stratejeric. or something. we talked about things at length. none of which i can disclose because it involves national security. wmds to be precise.
six sigma training debrief followed. we all debriefed. didn't think i worked for a bunch of nudists interested in process improvement huh.
had more meetings. won't bore you with the details. something having to do with attempting to choose balances for accounts because the owner of the accounts a really big BANK in the united states OF AMERICA doesn't know the balance themselves. inspiring huh. and there was another meeting about something that then lead to the star wars clone wars cartoon that i haven't watched. and then something about password protecting a spreadsheet that has a password that i can't mention that was the winner of the nineteen sixty-nine world series. and other stuff too.
i left because i did. and caught the bus. and read about hitler again. and got off the bus. and walked home. and let out the dogs. and sat down. and wrote in my attempts to find a voice a niche a unique way of saying hey look over here at the words that are coming out of my fingertips i will be embarking on different expressions through language. until now my posts have been of the calm cool and collected variety. and you'll still see that. perhaps even most of the time. but on some days it just doesn't suffice. so without further ado or adieu to those who oppose ado i give to you a stream into which you cannot step twice...
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Florida to Seattle
Rather dark. Outside, that is. Very different from Florida at this moment. We haven't even reached 5 p.m. yet. But this is Seattle, after all, and that's the way of things...
I suppose I could say that I started today unable to sleep. I intended on going to bed early to wake up early. But that wasn't happening. So I stayed up and watched the election results. I watched McCain's very gracious speech. And Obama's rather eloquent speech. By the time I turned off the television, it was 12:45 a.m. ET. And I had to be down in the lobby by 6:15 a.m.
The next thing I know my cell phone is vibrating on the small dresser next to me. I look at the clock. 6:15 a.m. Ah @#$%! Hello? You ready, I hear from one of the bigwigs. Umm, yeah, be right down. Thank God I packed last night, I think to myself. Like a whirlwind, I throw on clothes and fly out the door just 10 minutes after the call. The three bigwigs are waiting by the car grinning at my tardiness. Tired and late and feeling rather doltish, I stepped inside the mini-van.
We got to the airport on time, ate, and boarded. I had a row to myself. With a screaming, kicking two-year old behind me. Didn't matter much as I have never been able to sleep on planes. Just a few meditative eye-closings was all. And a lot of The Lord of the Rings for the umpteenth time.
I reflected a bit on my visit. Experience in the corporate world. Seeing my mother. An anti-climactic visit to Disney World. Eating bison. Watching the Obama landslide. Waking up late. Quite a visit, if I may say so.
We returned at noon and drove back to the office. I was greeted with the usual suspects asking multivariate questions multitudinously. I smiled and nodded at most. Organized my e-mail. Not terrible, but lots of action items for me. I spammed God knows how many people with meeting requests for the next 3 months. I updated SharePoint pages. I answered instant messages. And now, I'm just about out of steam. Greasy and tired and approaching brain-dead.
No complaints though. Altogether worth the experience, methinks. What's next, I wonder...
I suppose I could say that I started today unable to sleep. I intended on going to bed early to wake up early. But that wasn't happening. So I stayed up and watched the election results. I watched McCain's very gracious speech. And Obama's rather eloquent speech. By the time I turned off the television, it was 12:45 a.m. ET. And I had to be down in the lobby by 6:15 a.m.
The next thing I know my cell phone is vibrating on the small dresser next to me. I look at the clock. 6:15 a.m. Ah @#$%! Hello? You ready, I hear from one of the bigwigs. Umm, yeah, be right down. Thank God I packed last night, I think to myself. Like a whirlwind, I throw on clothes and fly out the door just 10 minutes after the call. The three bigwigs are waiting by the car grinning at my tardiness. Tired and late and feeling rather doltish, I stepped inside the mini-van.
We got to the airport on time, ate, and boarded. I had a row to myself. With a screaming, kicking two-year old behind me. Didn't matter much as I have never been able to sleep on planes. Just a few meditative eye-closings was all. And a lot of The Lord of the Rings for the umpteenth time.
I reflected a bit on my visit. Experience in the corporate world. Seeing my mother. An anti-climactic visit to Disney World. Eating bison. Watching the Obama landslide. Waking up late. Quite a visit, if I may say so.
We returned at noon and drove back to the office. I was greeted with the usual suspects asking multivariate questions multitudinously. I smiled and nodded at most. Organized my e-mail. Not terrible, but lots of action items for me. I spammed God knows how many people with meeting requests for the next 3 months. I updated SharePoint pages. I answered instant messages. And now, I'm just about out of steam. Greasy and tired and approaching brain-dead.
No complaints though. Altogether worth the experience, methinks. What's next, I wonder...
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Florida Day Three
Here I sit watching the talking heads talk. Wolf Blitzer. Anderon Cooper. William Bennett. James Carville. Obama now has more than 200 electoral votes. Democrats have drubbed the Republicans again in both houses. And I'm tired. Because today was all about work.
Woke up at 6:15 ET. That's 3:15 PT for all you who are just getting to work. Worked out. Made it down to the lobby at 7:45. Checked the restaurant. No one there. Waited in the lobby. My party eventually made it down. Three high level officers from my company. Two from Lone Star. We ate breakfast. An interesting conversation at which to be a fly on the wall. And yet there I was. Didn't understand about a quarter of it. And then just listened to the rest.
Left at 8:45 and arrived at the office at 9. Accredited Home Lenders, the name of the company. Originally, an originator of sub-prime mortgage loans. Suffice it to say, they aren't originating anymore. We walked through the front two doors and proceeded to our left, passing cubicles of people. We veered right into the conference room. Nice chairs. Overall, a nice office.
The very knowledgeable site manager walked us through the office. At first, we saw a group of men and women working busily. We passed the front doors and saw a slew of open cubicles. No, it wasn't a slew, it was a ridiculous empty space. In all, this office, which can seat 250 people, houses only about 50. That leaves 80% of the office left empty. Demoralizing.
We made our way back to the office and proceeded to have meeting after meeting. Some with people on the phone. Other with people in the office. How to integrate our initiative into this empty office. How to make it profitable. Money, money, money, money...
I spent the day writing. It is said that scribes were historically not as important as their leaders. Well, I spent the day as 'not as important'. No problem. Unlike in history, scribes can now work themselves into positions where they are the leaders.
But that's what I did. I wrote.
The day ended. I cannot yet say whether it was a success. That will depend entirely on the outcome. Today was just the beginning.
We departed in good spirits and proceeded to have a good dinner at a restaurant called Fish Bones. I had a Bison Ribeye Steak. Tasty, though too much fat.
And up here into the hotel. My last night. I have packed. I can't say I'm particularly looking forward to returning to work. I am, however, looking forward to seeing Joseph, the pups, and the kitties. It's time to go home...
But, for now, I will watch as history is made and Obama - seemingly - will take the presidency.
Woke up at 6:15 ET. That's 3:15 PT for all you who are just getting to work. Worked out. Made it down to the lobby at 7:45. Checked the restaurant. No one there. Waited in the lobby. My party eventually made it down. Three high level officers from my company. Two from Lone Star. We ate breakfast. An interesting conversation at which to be a fly on the wall. And yet there I was. Didn't understand about a quarter of it. And then just listened to the rest.
Left at 8:45 and arrived at the office at 9. Accredited Home Lenders, the name of the company. Originally, an originator of sub-prime mortgage loans. Suffice it to say, they aren't originating anymore. We walked through the front two doors and proceeded to our left, passing cubicles of people. We veered right into the conference room. Nice chairs. Overall, a nice office.
The very knowledgeable site manager walked us through the office. At first, we saw a group of men and women working busily. We passed the front doors and saw a slew of open cubicles. No, it wasn't a slew, it was a ridiculous empty space. In all, this office, which can seat 250 people, houses only about 50. That leaves 80% of the office left empty. Demoralizing.
We made our way back to the office and proceeded to have meeting after meeting. Some with people on the phone. Other with people in the office. How to integrate our initiative into this empty office. How to make it profitable. Money, money, money, money...
I spent the day writing. It is said that scribes were historically not as important as their leaders. Well, I spent the day as 'not as important'. No problem. Unlike in history, scribes can now work themselves into positions where they are the leaders.
But that's what I did. I wrote.
The day ended. I cannot yet say whether it was a success. That will depend entirely on the outcome. Today was just the beginning.
We departed in good spirits and proceeded to have a good dinner at a restaurant called Fish Bones. I had a Bison Ribeye Steak. Tasty, though too much fat.
And up here into the hotel. My last night. I have packed. I can't say I'm particularly looking forward to returning to work. I am, however, looking forward to seeing Joseph, the pups, and the kitties. It's time to go home...
But, for now, I will watch as history is made and Obama - seemingly - will take the presidency.
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Another Evening to Forget
Seventeen days ago, I told you about the joy of returning home to find our carpet decimated and Buddy attempting to digest the tiny pieces that Cleo had so successfully dislodged.
Since then, we have had new carpet installed. All should be well. It has been, in fact, until tonight...
But wait. Before I can tell you about tonight, let me tell you about my day at work.
Arrive. Get tea. Earl Grey. Work on an e-mail I should have sent yesterday. I craft e-mails; they need to be precise. Or else I spend twice as much time trying to follow up. Anyway, I have a meeting in which we discuss onboarding. A new type of torture implemented by my company. We're in the Darth Vader building after all. That's an hour. Painful. Next a status meeting. A project that's ready to deploy. Today, in fact. We were to deploy at 3:30. Fine, fine.
Pause
Continuing to craft the e-mail. And other stuff. E-mails fly at my inbox like rabid pigeons. I answer each volley. But like a hydra, the e-mails spawn more. This constant admin gives way to a strategy meeting. Cringing. Stomach in knots. Lunatic perceptions and darksome conclusions. I won't elaborate here. Not yet. It ends, thankfully, and I move to counter yet more e-mails with my vicious backhand.
Coughee with Tara. I vent.
Weekly status meeting with a client in OK City. He likes to talk. On to a status meeting for a project that boggles the mind and soul. Next I venture to the desk of our deployer - not to be confused with our destroyer - and ask how the deployment of the standardization pieces are coming. The standardization pieces had to come before the other projects that needed to be deployed today. The deployer and the developer responsible for the standardization pieces smile gleefully as they work through some 'small' items.
Another status meeting for another project for another client. Then more work for the client we love to hate. I return to the deployer. Not yet deployed. Impeding the progress of the other project deployments, I say. They know, they know. Another status meeting for another project for another client.
I return a third time. Problems. Problems? I ask. Problems. Damn, both sides of my brain exclaim. The standardization pieces are stuck in environmental limbo. And my other projects won't deploy. Great. Project managers don't look good when this kind of thing happens.
But I have to go. Tutor for an hour. Race to the bus. Sit on the bus. Tired. Walk home. Want to sit and eat and then blog and perhaps accomplish a few other things.
Walk in the door. Ah, the fragrance wafting from the dogs' room. The putrid smell emanating from Buddy's crate. Drag the crate outside. Spray the crate. Spray the dog. Cleo needs food. Feed her. Close Buddy in the garage. Bring him inside. Bathe him in the guest bath tub. Dry him off. He vomitousnesses all over the bathroom floor. Appetizing. He goes back into the garage. Towel the floor. Wash the towels. Clean the bathroom. Notice the overpowering smell is giving me a headache. Start lighting candles and opening windows. Not freezing but cold enough to start turning the hands and feet blue. Check on Buddy. Sick in dribblets in the garage. A little bleach'll do 'em good. Bleach 'em. No, not Buddy, the dribblets. Back inside. Have to take the garbage out. Might as well while I'm cleaning. Cleo surveys my progress; she approves. Walk into the garage preparing the trash. Buddy relieves himself just beyond the potty pads I've laid but not quite on my foot. Enjoyable. I recommend it. Open the garage door. Get the hose. Spray the chocolate colored waste out into the grass. Wrestle Buddy back into the garage where he sits obediently thinking that I'm going to spray him again. He shivers. I clean the crate. Cleo whines when I get back in. She thinks she's missing something exciting. I tell her to go away. Put the towels in the dryer. Shave. Yeah, weird, I know. But it was annoying me. Check on Buddy. Nothing bad. Prepare finances for tomorrow when our checks clear. Yes, weird, I know; we've established that. Check on Buddy. Seems okay. Lighter on his feet. Happier, I guess. I let him in.
He's sitting at my feet as I blog. Haven't eaten yet. Stomach's just about calmed down. And here comes Joseph home from his 6-10 Thursday evening class. I think I'll end here. And maybe eat...
Since then, we have had new carpet installed. All should be well. It has been, in fact, until tonight...
But wait. Before I can tell you about tonight, let me tell you about my day at work.
Arrive. Get tea. Earl Grey. Work on an e-mail I should have sent yesterday. I craft e-mails; they need to be precise. Or else I spend twice as much time trying to follow up. Anyway, I have a meeting in which we discuss onboarding. A new type of torture implemented by my company. We're in the Darth Vader building after all. That's an hour. Painful. Next a status meeting. A project that's ready to deploy. Today, in fact. We were to deploy at 3:30. Fine, fine.
Pause
Continuing to craft the e-mail. And other stuff. E-mails fly at my inbox like rabid pigeons. I answer each volley. But like a hydra, the e-mails spawn more. This constant admin gives way to a strategy meeting. Cringing. Stomach in knots. Lunatic perceptions and darksome conclusions. I won't elaborate here. Not yet. It ends, thankfully, and I move to counter yet more e-mails with my vicious backhand.
Coughee with Tara. I vent.
Weekly status meeting with a client in OK City. He likes to talk. On to a status meeting for a project that boggles the mind and soul. Next I venture to the desk of our deployer - not to be confused with our destroyer - and ask how the deployment of the standardization pieces are coming. The standardization pieces had to come before the other projects that needed to be deployed today. The deployer and the developer responsible for the standardization pieces smile gleefully as they work through some 'small' items.
Another status meeting for another project for another client. Then more work for the client we love to hate. I return to the deployer. Not yet deployed. Impeding the progress of the other project deployments, I say. They know, they know. Another status meeting for another project for another client.
I return a third time. Problems. Problems? I ask. Problems. Damn, both sides of my brain exclaim. The standardization pieces are stuck in environmental limbo. And my other projects won't deploy. Great. Project managers don't look good when this kind of thing happens.
But I have to go. Tutor for an hour. Race to the bus. Sit on the bus. Tired. Walk home. Want to sit and eat and then blog and perhaps accomplish a few other things.
Walk in the door. Ah, the fragrance wafting from the dogs' room. The putrid smell emanating from Buddy's crate. Drag the crate outside. Spray the crate. Spray the dog. Cleo needs food. Feed her. Close Buddy in the garage. Bring him inside. Bathe him in the guest bath tub. Dry him off. He vomitousnesses all over the bathroom floor. Appetizing. He goes back into the garage. Towel the floor. Wash the towels. Clean the bathroom. Notice the overpowering smell is giving me a headache. Start lighting candles and opening windows. Not freezing but cold enough to start turning the hands and feet blue. Check on Buddy. Sick in dribblets in the garage. A little bleach'll do 'em good. Bleach 'em. No, not Buddy, the dribblets. Back inside. Have to take the garbage out. Might as well while I'm cleaning. Cleo surveys my progress; she approves. Walk into the garage preparing the trash. Buddy relieves himself just beyond the potty pads I've laid but not quite on my foot. Enjoyable. I recommend it. Open the garage door. Get the hose. Spray the chocolate colored waste out into the grass. Wrestle Buddy back into the garage where he sits obediently thinking that I'm going to spray him again. He shivers. I clean the crate. Cleo whines when I get back in. She thinks she's missing something exciting. I tell her to go away. Put the towels in the dryer. Shave. Yeah, weird, I know. But it was annoying me. Check on Buddy. Nothing bad. Prepare finances for tomorrow when our checks clear. Yes, weird, I know; we've established that. Check on Buddy. Seems okay. Lighter on his feet. Happier, I guess. I let him in.
He's sitting at my feet as I blog. Haven't eaten yet. Stomach's just about calmed down. And here comes Joseph home from his 6-10 Thursday evening class. I think I'll end here. And maybe eat...
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Corporation... Continued IV
Work... Exertion of effort directed to produce or accomplish something (Dictionary.com).
So, if I'm not accomplishing anything in particular during my day, even if I'm exerting myself constantly, can I consider it work?
The last time we chatted, I spoke more about Six Sigma and the company vision. Well, I'm proud to announce that the company now has a vision. I can't say that I'm overly proud to announce what that particular vision is, but we'll get to that.
It has been three weeks on the proverbial nose since I last brought you word of the happenings on the 9th floor in the Darth Vader Building. The CEO and President went to Dallas to suggest a strategy for moving the company forward. The strategy focused mainly on acquiring new bankruptcy servicing contracts so that the company does not have to attain the capital to purchase accounts and wait inordinate amounts of time for the return. Lone Star thought it a good idea; better stated, they thought it one good idea.
It seems - as a I discussed last time - that collecting on bankrupt debt promises to become a heck of a lot more difficult in the coming years. Especially for those companies - mine - that collect on unsecured bankrupt debt. In short, debtors have to pay back their debt now. And most don't have the money to pay back all the debt. Some declare bankruptcy. Most of those who will declare bankruptcy will have very little money. Those who do have a little money will concentrate on paying back the secured debt. What does that mean for companies that are collecting on unsecured bankrupt debt (that's us)? Zilch. Nada. Zero.
So, Lone Star said that servicing is a great idea since we wouldn't have to put up any money; we'd just get the fees. But it can't be the only idea. A company that can't diversify in tough times is doomed to failure. And thus, Ed and Rui returned talking about servicing non-bankrupt debt. In short, collections. Dismissed bankrupt accounts (accounts belonging to those who could not sustain a bankruptcy for whatever reason). First and second lien mortgage deficiencies. Second lien mortgage delinquencies. Don't ask me the difference between deficiency and delinquency, I haven't looked it up yet.
Combine this 'suggestion' from Lone Star with the fact that our company is also in the process of becoming interconnected with two other Lone Star subsidiaries: Accredited Home Lenders and CIT Bank. I'm presently working on a project for CIT Bank out of Oklahoma City. But I'm not going to talk about them at any length here since I'm already far too wordy.
I will, however, talk about Accredited Home Lenders. Lest I get some of the specifics wrong, let's just say that Lone Star owns Accredited (it is more complicated than that). Accredited - one of the premiere subprime home lenders for the past 3-5 years - can no longer originate subprime loans. Go figure. They have consolidated, significantly. They once had three offices packed to the gills with employees in Cincinnati, OH; San Diego, CA; and Lake Mary, FL. They have necessarily consolidated down to one office, San Diego, where they will work their much reduced portfolio of accounts. That leaves the Ohio and Florida shops to close.
Well, Lone Star and our company leaders had an idea. We could take over one of those offices for our own new collections line, especially since those offices essentially specialize in the types of collections - except for dismissal collections - in which my company would like to be involved. In the process, we might even be able to save a few jobs down in Florida.
About two weeks ago, I was invited to a meeting that included about 14 other people in the company. It was in that meeting that Ed - the CEO - made the announcement that we would be opening a new office in Lake Mary, FL and that it needed to be operational by the end of the year, i.e. 12/31/2008. Rui - the President - was put in charge of the effort to give birth to the new company.
After that meeting, everything took a turn for the incredibly insane. Rui asked my boss if I could be the Project Manager that helped to lead the way into Florida. My boss agreed. And so, my projects are being offloaded one by one as I ramp up for work on this new business model.
Oh, and have I mentioned that 40% of my weeks these past three weeks have been devoted to Six Sigma training off site? And it's supposed to be next Monday and Tuesday too. But no...
I'm going to Florida. Leaving on Sunday. Coming back on Wednesday. Just found out yesterday.
Crazy turn of events.
And then I remembered, voting! I need to vote. So, that means voting will need to happen in the next couple of days before I leave.
Finally, a coincidence. This will mark the second time in my life that I will be just outside Orlando for an election, I who have no real connection to Orlando in any way, shape, or form. I was there 16 years ago visiting Disney World, and on the final night I watched as Bill Clinton became the first and only Democrat I've ever seen elected to the White House. Odd...
Well, there you have it. My life is nothing if not consistently interesting. For now, I exert significant amounts of effort and feel as though I am accomplishing next to nothing...
More to come...
So, if I'm not accomplishing anything in particular during my day, even if I'm exerting myself constantly, can I consider it work?
The last time we chatted, I spoke more about Six Sigma and the company vision. Well, I'm proud to announce that the company now has a vision. I can't say that I'm overly proud to announce what that particular vision is, but we'll get to that.
It has been three weeks on the proverbial nose since I last brought you word of the happenings on the 9th floor in the Darth Vader Building. The CEO and President went to Dallas to suggest a strategy for moving the company forward. The strategy focused mainly on acquiring new bankruptcy servicing contracts so that the company does not have to attain the capital to purchase accounts and wait inordinate amounts of time for the return. Lone Star thought it a good idea; better stated, they thought it one good idea.
It seems - as a I discussed last time - that collecting on bankrupt debt promises to become a heck of a lot more difficult in the coming years. Especially for those companies - mine - that collect on unsecured bankrupt debt. In short, debtors have to pay back their debt now. And most don't have the money to pay back all the debt. Some declare bankruptcy. Most of those who will declare bankruptcy will have very little money. Those who do have a little money will concentrate on paying back the secured debt. What does that mean for companies that are collecting on unsecured bankrupt debt (that's us)? Zilch. Nada. Zero.
So, Lone Star said that servicing is a great idea since we wouldn't have to put up any money; we'd just get the fees. But it can't be the only idea. A company that can't diversify in tough times is doomed to failure. And thus, Ed and Rui returned talking about servicing non-bankrupt debt. In short, collections. Dismissed bankrupt accounts (accounts belonging to those who could not sustain a bankruptcy for whatever reason). First and second lien mortgage deficiencies. Second lien mortgage delinquencies. Don't ask me the difference between deficiency and delinquency, I haven't looked it up yet.
Combine this 'suggestion' from Lone Star with the fact that our company is also in the process of becoming interconnected with two other Lone Star subsidiaries: Accredited Home Lenders and CIT Bank. I'm presently working on a project for CIT Bank out of Oklahoma City. But I'm not going to talk about them at any length here since I'm already far too wordy.
I will, however, talk about Accredited Home Lenders. Lest I get some of the specifics wrong, let's just say that Lone Star owns Accredited (it is more complicated than that). Accredited - one of the premiere subprime home lenders for the past 3-5 years - can no longer originate subprime loans. Go figure. They have consolidated, significantly. They once had three offices packed to the gills with employees in Cincinnati, OH; San Diego, CA; and Lake Mary, FL. They have necessarily consolidated down to one office, San Diego, where they will work their much reduced portfolio of accounts. That leaves the Ohio and Florida shops to close.
Well, Lone Star and our company leaders had an idea. We could take over one of those offices for our own new collections line, especially since those offices essentially specialize in the types of collections - except for dismissal collections - in which my company would like to be involved. In the process, we might even be able to save a few jobs down in Florida.
About two weeks ago, I was invited to a meeting that included about 14 other people in the company. It was in that meeting that Ed - the CEO - made the announcement that we would be opening a new office in Lake Mary, FL and that it needed to be operational by the end of the year, i.e. 12/31/2008. Rui - the President - was put in charge of the effort to give birth to the new company.
After that meeting, everything took a turn for the incredibly insane. Rui asked my boss if I could be the Project Manager that helped to lead the way into Florida. My boss agreed. And so, my projects are being offloaded one by one as I ramp up for work on this new business model.
Oh, and have I mentioned that 40% of my weeks these past three weeks have been devoted to Six Sigma training off site? And it's supposed to be next Monday and Tuesday too. But no...
I'm going to Florida. Leaving on Sunday. Coming back on Wednesday. Just found out yesterday.
Crazy turn of events.
And then I remembered, voting! I need to vote. So, that means voting will need to happen in the next couple of days before I leave.
Finally, a coincidence. This will mark the second time in my life that I will be just outside Orlando for an election, I who have no real connection to Orlando in any way, shape, or form. I was there 16 years ago visiting Disney World, and on the final night I watched as Bill Clinton became the first and only Democrat I've ever seen elected to the White House. Odd...
Well, there you have it. My life is nothing if not consistently interesting. For now, I exert significant amounts of effort and feel as though I am accomplishing next to nothing...
More to come...
Monday, October 20, 2008
A Busy Week 10/13-10/18
One day doesn't make a busy week. A busy week makes a busy week.
I told you about Saturday. Now, I'm going to get in my Delorean and flux myself back to Monday 10/13.
Monday 10/13 marked the first day of Six Sigma Greenbelt training for the first wave of 10 guinea pigs at my company. We traveled to Bellevue Community College - North Campus - from north, south, and west at 7 a.m. We arrived promptly at 7:30 thanks to lighter than usual traffic on Columbus Day. We set up shop and proceeded to listen to the Six Sigma Blackbelt teacher - a former naval officer - drone on about Six Sigma as we collectively attempted to balance the requests coming from our office - on IM and e-mail - and the topics our teacher was covering. We got food from Burger Master, a Northwest fast food place made mostly for drive up. In other words, there were stalls into which cars parked and the servers come out to the cars. A throwback. We returned to the droning and sat. The teacher's a good guy. And an average teacher. I came back to the office thinking that I'd head out to the gym. No luck. We went to Carpet Liquidators instead to see what they could offer as far as carpet goes. We found something we liked but didn't commit (we like to have options for comparison). Then, we went home. And what to our wondering eyes did appear? An Evening to Forget
Tuesday 10/14 marked the second day of Six Sigma training. We arrived a whopping 15 minutes later downtown for the carpool and arrived a whopping 15 minutes later at class. Still rather light traffic. There was more interaction on that day. More questions. More activities. Thank goodness. Most of the group went to Dixie's BBQ. A warehouse and garage where you order southern BBQ. Good stuff too. Waited in line for about 30 minutes (worth the wait) and brought it back to class. Made respective messes of ourselves and proceeded to get droppy-eyed as the teacher spoke. Returned that afternoon knowing that I wasn't going to the gym because we had to get home to meet a guy for a carpet estimate. Lenny, by name. Lenny was a bit sarcastic. And he had no financing. Still we listened, and he gave us a good deal. But no financing. Bye Lenny. Joseph left for volleyball. I worked from home for another two hours and then wrote a tribute to my Grandfather.
Wednesday 10/15, I went back to work. I was immediately pummeled by the 5 active projects for which I am responsible. Most associated with clients, which means hard deadlines. I got myself in order and assessed each project. At 10:30, we had the bStar meeting. A meeting to review the progress of the company and to reward those who deserve a cash award for their hard work. The company? In short, it looks like we'll be opening a second office in Lake Mary, FL to do collections on dismissed accounts as well as mortgages. I won't go into the long version here. But I suggest you re-read Corporation...Continued prior to my next lengthy discussion of where my company's going. We went home - stopping at Safeway along the way - and found a woman from Empire Today in our driveway; Joseph had set up another carpet meet and greet. I let him do the work - which he does so well - and I tried to do work. But I hit a brick wall (mentally) and started looking at youtube. I found Gordon Shumway.
Thursday 10/16, work again. Trying to get a handle on the projects. I felt like I made some headway on each of the projects. But five things at once is too much. I was tired. Joseph started class that evening. I got a ride home from a neighbor by happenstance, and I can't, for the life of me, remember what I did that night. It was my braindead night. Oh, and I did TD's Weekly NFL Picks.
Friday 10/17, was a day of bureaucratic admin. I accomplished almost nothing because I was in meetings all day. Fun. One of those meetings happened to be a two-hour meeting devoted to the project that will be opening a second office in Florida with another line of services foreign to this company (described above). The President of the company (not to be confused with the CEO) was named to head the charge into FLA. And we were all told - there were about 15 of us in the meeting - that we might be assigned to some part of the project. And any one of us might be traveling to FLA. The day ended. I went home. Joseph went out with some friends. I began moving items off the furniture for the Saturday carpeting job. I then picked up Joseph. We bought the most recent Indiana Jones flick and a Papa Murphy's pizza. We settled down at home and enjoyed a quiet night before the storm that would be Saturday 10/18.
That's what I mean by a busy week.
I told you about Saturday. Now, I'm going to get in my Delorean and flux myself back to Monday 10/13.
Monday 10/13 marked the first day of Six Sigma Greenbelt training for the first wave of 10 guinea pigs at my company. We traveled to Bellevue Community College - North Campus - from north, south, and west at 7 a.m. We arrived promptly at 7:30 thanks to lighter than usual traffic on Columbus Day. We set up shop and proceeded to listen to the Six Sigma Blackbelt teacher - a former naval officer - drone on about Six Sigma as we collectively attempted to balance the requests coming from our office - on IM and e-mail - and the topics our teacher was covering. We got food from Burger Master, a Northwest fast food place made mostly for drive up. In other words, there were stalls into which cars parked and the servers come out to the cars. A throwback. We returned to the droning and sat. The teacher's a good guy. And an average teacher. I came back to the office thinking that I'd head out to the gym. No luck. We went to Carpet Liquidators instead to see what they could offer as far as carpet goes. We found something we liked but didn't commit (we like to have options for comparison). Then, we went home. And what to our wondering eyes did appear? An Evening to Forget
Tuesday 10/14 marked the second day of Six Sigma training. We arrived a whopping 15 minutes later downtown for the carpool and arrived a whopping 15 minutes later at class. Still rather light traffic. There was more interaction on that day. More questions. More activities. Thank goodness. Most of the group went to Dixie's BBQ. A warehouse and garage where you order southern BBQ. Good stuff too. Waited in line for about 30 minutes (worth the wait) and brought it back to class. Made respective messes of ourselves and proceeded to get droppy-eyed as the teacher spoke. Returned that afternoon knowing that I wasn't going to the gym because we had to get home to meet a guy for a carpet estimate. Lenny, by name. Lenny was a bit sarcastic. And he had no financing. Still we listened, and he gave us a good deal. But no financing. Bye Lenny. Joseph left for volleyball. I worked from home for another two hours and then wrote a tribute to my Grandfather.
Wednesday 10/15, I went back to work. I was immediately pummeled by the 5 active projects for which I am responsible. Most associated with clients, which means hard deadlines. I got myself in order and assessed each project. At 10:30, we had the bStar meeting. A meeting to review the progress of the company and to reward those who deserve a cash award for their hard work. The company? In short, it looks like we'll be opening a second office in Lake Mary, FL to do collections on dismissed accounts as well as mortgages. I won't go into the long version here. But I suggest you re-read Corporation...Continued prior to my next lengthy discussion of where my company's going. We went home - stopping at Safeway along the way - and found a woman from Empire Today in our driveway; Joseph had set up another carpet meet and greet. I let him do the work - which he does so well - and I tried to do work. But I hit a brick wall (mentally) and started looking at youtube. I found Gordon Shumway.
Thursday 10/16, work again. Trying to get a handle on the projects. I felt like I made some headway on each of the projects. But five things at once is too much. I was tired. Joseph started class that evening. I got a ride home from a neighbor by happenstance, and I can't, for the life of me, remember what I did that night. It was my braindead night. Oh, and I did TD's Weekly NFL Picks.
Friday 10/17, was a day of bureaucratic admin. I accomplished almost nothing because I was in meetings all day. Fun. One of those meetings happened to be a two-hour meeting devoted to the project that will be opening a second office in Florida with another line of services foreign to this company (described above). The President of the company (not to be confused with the CEO) was named to head the charge into FLA. And we were all told - there were about 15 of us in the meeting - that we might be assigned to some part of the project. And any one of us might be traveling to FLA. The day ended. I went home. Joseph went out with some friends. I began moving items off the furniture for the Saturday carpeting job. I then picked up Joseph. We bought the most recent Indiana Jones flick and a Papa Murphy's pizza. We settled down at home and enjoyed a quiet night before the storm that would be Saturday 10/18.
That's what I mean by a busy week.
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Corporation... Continued
Every so often, I begin getting an increase of calls, letters, e-mails, smoke signals, carrier pigeons, and owls inundating me with questions about work. How's it going? Is your job safe? Have they laid people off? Are they outsourcing? And on and on. With what little I know, I will whet your appetite.
Anyone been hearing about the economy lately? Small thing. Closest to the Depression we've been since the... well... the Depression. A $700 billion bailout for Wall Street. Oh, and Europe and Asia are feeling the heat. Iceland is about to declare bankruptcy, for God's sake. What chapter would that be anyway? It's bad; we all know it. But what, exactly, does that mean for a company that collects on bankrupt debt? And what does that mean for a fund like Lone Star that owns a company that collects on bankrupt debt, not to mention owning God knows how many other types of companies? Alright, already, so many questions...
At first glance, what this means for my company is more bankruptcy. More bankruptcy means more ability to collect on bankruptcy. More ability to collect means more money. Whoa! Not so fast. Just because we might have more bankrupt accounts coming in the door doesn't mean the debtors responsible for those accounts will have any money to pay us. They're broke, remember. So, chapter 7 filings will go up. Even with the new bankruptcy legislation passed three years ago.
In addition, it's tougher for my company to get the loans we need to pay for the accounts. Yes, we get loans to purchase the accounts and then pay the loans off over time while also recognizing at least some profit. So, higher interest rates mean more difficulty finding loans that will allow the company to go after accounts. As you can see, there's good and bad.
But wait, there's a way around the purchasing of accounts. Service them! Instead of acquiring a loan to purchase accounts, we just bring the accounts in-house and keep a fee for dealing with the bankrupt accounts. It allows the owning company to continue to collect, recouping the value while at the same time allowing us to earn money without having to secure a loan. So, why don't we do more of that? There's a whole lot more competition for servicing. And we can't charge a fee that falls off the map just because it's lower than the competitors. At some point, we have to have confidence in our own abilities and tell customers that they get what they pay for. It's worked a few times.
Okay, deep breath, moving onward.
That was my company. Now, how 'bout the company that owns my company, Lone Star. They're accustomed to turning businesses like Ty Pennington does houses. Buy them, make them better or tear them apart, and sell them (or their pieces) within three years of purchase. It's worked well thus far. What has changed? It's the economy, stupid. No, not that you're stupid. It's just a saying. You know. First used in as a slogan in Bill Clinton's '92 campaign. Remember? Ah, never mind. So, anyway, Lone Star can't sell these companies as quickly because there's no one to buy them. What happens next? Some confusion. Some reorganization. Some action.
Lone Star decides they're going to jump in and purchase some bad debt. In Germany. In South Korea. In the good old US of A. Good old Merrill Lynch US of A accounts, to be exact. Among others. To do what with them? Collect, of course. Not through my company. At least not yet.
But there has to be more than that venture. Lone Star has to think differently about their acquisitions. Instead of pumping up or slashing and burning the companies, they have to sustain them. Foreign word, sustain. So, how do you sustain?
Well, there's the one choice. You don't. You make like nothing's happened and you try your old tactics. Bad idea. Another choice, choose to run the company the way a company should be run, i.e. with some kind of operational excellence. What might that be, you ask? Six Sigma. Remember Six Sigma? Ed showed me the books in his bookcase. Used at Motorola and GE, manufacturing companies. Worked well too. Got them close to Six Sigma in many of their lines.
Well, since I've read a bit more about Six Sigma, let me very briefly explain. If you order a warm, fresh hamburger with mustard, ketchup, lettuce, tomato, and no pickle 1,000,000 times from McDonalds, they can get it wrong thrice. That's three times they can forget the pickles. That's it. They have to be spot on the rest of the time. That's the result in a nutshell. How do they get there? Ah, well that's the rub. Increase effectiveness and efficiency using the tools of Six Sigma. BUT - and it's a big but, and I cannot lie - the support and vision MUST. Let me start that again... The support and vision MUST come from the company owners/leaders/decision makers. If it does not, then Six Sigma turns into another quality initiative that will be undermined somewhere in its midst.
Yes, yes. So what about the people at my company? What about me? Interesting question. Six Sigma does not say NOT to outsource. Nor does it say NOT to downsize. Not explicitly, anyway. Instead, it says that a company must do what is efficient and effective. Is it efficient to send the company's IT team somewhere else? If we're talking India, China, Djibouti, Liechtenstein, or Moldova, probably not. If we're talking San Fran, Dallas, or even somewhere else in Seattle, maybe. But that place would have to make up for our knowledge base and internal efficiencies. Could it? Maybe.
And what's the company's vision anyway? Purchasing requires loaned money. Servicing requires competitive rates. Something else entirely means new knowledge acquisition by the workers. Which is it? I don't know. I know that our leaders went to speak to Lone Star last week, but there is still no word about what's next. Still no vision. We are - not stuck - just waiting. And what do we do in the meantime? Well, my team will be taking Six Sigma certification classes at Bellevue Community College. And I'm in the process of completing my Project Management Certification Application. Training. For my company? Or for the future? Dunno... I jus' dunno.
I yield to the blessed St. Ignatius 'If you don't know where you're going, stay where you are.'
More to come...
Anyone been hearing about the economy lately? Small thing. Closest to the Depression we've been since the... well... the Depression. A $700 billion bailout for Wall Street. Oh, and Europe and Asia are feeling the heat. Iceland is about to declare bankruptcy, for God's sake. What chapter would that be anyway? It's bad; we all know it. But what, exactly, does that mean for a company that collects on bankrupt debt? And what does that mean for a fund like Lone Star that owns a company that collects on bankrupt debt, not to mention owning God knows how many other types of companies? Alright, already, so many questions...
At first glance, what this means for my company is more bankruptcy. More bankruptcy means more ability to collect on bankruptcy. More ability to collect means more money. Whoa! Not so fast. Just because we might have more bankrupt accounts coming in the door doesn't mean the debtors responsible for those accounts will have any money to pay us. They're broke, remember. So, chapter 7 filings will go up. Even with the new bankruptcy legislation passed three years ago.
In addition, it's tougher for my company to get the loans we need to pay for the accounts. Yes, we get loans to purchase the accounts and then pay the loans off over time while also recognizing at least some profit. So, higher interest rates mean more difficulty finding loans that will allow the company to go after accounts. As you can see, there's good and bad.
But wait, there's a way around the purchasing of accounts. Service them! Instead of acquiring a loan to purchase accounts, we just bring the accounts in-house and keep a fee for dealing with the bankrupt accounts. It allows the owning company to continue to collect, recouping the value while at the same time allowing us to earn money without having to secure a loan. So, why don't we do more of that? There's a whole lot more competition for servicing. And we can't charge a fee that falls off the map just because it's lower than the competitors. At some point, we have to have confidence in our own abilities and tell customers that they get what they pay for. It's worked a few times.
Okay, deep breath, moving onward.
That was my company. Now, how 'bout the company that owns my company, Lone Star. They're accustomed to turning businesses like Ty Pennington does houses. Buy them, make them better or tear them apart, and sell them (or their pieces) within three years of purchase. It's worked well thus far. What has changed? It's the economy, stupid. No, not that you're stupid. It's just a saying. You know. First used in as a slogan in Bill Clinton's '92 campaign. Remember? Ah, never mind. So, anyway, Lone Star can't sell these companies as quickly because there's no one to buy them. What happens next? Some confusion. Some reorganization. Some action.
Lone Star decides they're going to jump in and purchase some bad debt. In Germany. In South Korea. In the good old US of A. Good old Merrill Lynch US of A accounts, to be exact. Among others. To do what with them? Collect, of course. Not through my company. At least not yet.
But there has to be more than that venture. Lone Star has to think differently about their acquisitions. Instead of pumping up or slashing and burning the companies, they have to sustain them. Foreign word, sustain. So, how do you sustain?
Well, there's the one choice. You don't. You make like nothing's happened and you try your old tactics. Bad idea. Another choice, choose to run the company the way a company should be run, i.e. with some kind of operational excellence. What might that be, you ask? Six Sigma. Remember Six Sigma? Ed showed me the books in his bookcase. Used at Motorola and GE, manufacturing companies. Worked well too. Got them close to Six Sigma in many of their lines.
Well, since I've read a bit more about Six Sigma, let me very briefly explain. If you order a warm, fresh hamburger with mustard, ketchup, lettuce, tomato, and no pickle 1,000,000 times from McDonalds, they can get it wrong thrice. That's three times they can forget the pickles. That's it. They have to be spot on the rest of the time. That's the result in a nutshell. How do they get there? Ah, well that's the rub. Increase effectiveness and efficiency using the tools of Six Sigma. BUT - and it's a big but, and I cannot lie - the support and vision MUST. Let me start that again... The support and vision MUST come from the company owners/leaders/decision makers. If it does not, then Six Sigma turns into another quality initiative that will be undermined somewhere in its midst.
Yes, yes. So what about the people at my company? What about me? Interesting question. Six Sigma does not say NOT to outsource. Nor does it say NOT to downsize. Not explicitly, anyway. Instead, it says that a company must do what is efficient and effective. Is it efficient to send the company's IT team somewhere else? If we're talking India, China, Djibouti, Liechtenstein, or Moldova, probably not. If we're talking San Fran, Dallas, or even somewhere else in Seattle, maybe. But that place would have to make up for our knowledge base and internal efficiencies. Could it? Maybe.
And what's the company's vision anyway? Purchasing requires loaned money. Servicing requires competitive rates. Something else entirely means new knowledge acquisition by the workers. Which is it? I don't know. I know that our leaders went to speak to Lone Star last week, but there is still no word about what's next. Still no vision. We are - not stuck - just waiting. And what do we do in the meantime? Well, my team will be taking Six Sigma certification classes at Bellevue Community College. And I'm in the process of completing my Project Management Certification Application. Training. For my company? Or for the future? Dunno... I jus' dunno.
I yield to the blessed St. Ignatius 'If you don't know where you're going, stay where you are.'
More to come...
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Corporation: The Game - Update
I had multiple responses - whether in posts or in e-mail - to the first post about the goings on at my company. Some of those responses showed concern for my future employment at the company. Others encouraged me to see a silver lining. As a person who likes to balance I listened to both and then set out to do my own analysis of the ongoing situation. Since I know that most - if not all - of you have some concern about my welfare as evidenced by those responses, I thought I'd follow up from time to time about the opportunities and challenges at my job. Not to mention the fact that I think this would make a great story some day... perhaps even a short novel.
I left off on that Friday (8/29) when all hell broke loose. We had just attended a meeting at the Westin to listen to our new CEO, Ed, explain to us what had happened that day. The restructuring of the company. The mutual agreement for Erik to leave. The push to create a vision for our company. The push to make the company more profitable.
We had the weekend to think about it. And Labor Day to boot. I celebrated the end of the Softball World Series. I followed - somewhat - the opening day of college football. I set up my 'Random Rejoinders' blog to be viewed by the public. In essence, I tried to forget about what had happened.
And then I stepped into the Darth Vader building on Tuesday. I rode the recycled elevator to the 9th floor - successfully - and went to my desk. Toasted a bagel. Poured some tea. Got to work. Nothing had changed. I almost expected that Erik would walk around the corner. But no, that was real. Still, there wasn't much difference.
Now, before you start wondering - if you're wondering - if there was any talk of Erik that Monday - and even during that week - well, there was. There were those who had spoken to him over the Labor Day weekend, who heard his side of the story and told it. And then there were those who told a different story about what had happened. I heard that he left of his own accord; I heard that it wasn't his choice. I heard that there was a specific cause; I heard that he just didn't agree with the company's direction. I heard so many things about how and why Erik left that I choose not to discuss any of them lest this post turn into a gossip column.
Instead, I move forward with the happenings at the company. Well, I've already told you that there aren't many. So, I decided to start asking some questions. The first person? Well, the CEO of course. Now, you must understand that I feel that I know Ed relatively well. He went out on a limb and hired me at the company (another story). And then he took me into his accounting department fold and treated me exceptionally well. I have respect for the man based on past experience. So, it was nothing for me to knock on the door and start asking a few questions.
After I sat, I told Ed as clearly and as succinctly as possible that I didn't think my talents were being adequately used within the company. In addition, I told him that I hadn't really deployed a project since the third quarter of 2007 because all of my projects had been canceled for reasons completely out of my control.
He responded that he understood and already recognized the fact that the company was lacking a corporate vision. He said that Lone Star has a vision for us and, effectively, we have to see if we can insert ourselves into that vision. He told me it begins with a business management strategy named Six Sigma, a strategy that has increased production at companies like GE and Motorola. Pointing to his bookshelf, he offered for me to borrow any of his numerous books on the subject. He then told me that he intended for the project management group to be extracted from the Information Technology realm and placed at the Business Process realm to ensure that the company - on the whole - was proceeding as efficiently and effectively as possible with as little waste and error as possible.
A whole lotta jargon to say that the company's going to be restructured in its entirety, but not so quickly and immediately that it would send all of the employees reeling. Do I need to look for another job, I asked. He said he couldn't yet say, but he also said that if I was willing to immerse myself in Six Sigma methodology and drink the 'Kool Aid' then I'd be fine.
As we concluded our informal meeting, Ed added, 'I liked your blog'. I discovered that Ed has his search engine set to alert him any time my company's name is used. And so, because I did use the company's name in that post, he read the post and even commented. I wasn't sure exactly what to think when he said that to me. Either 'Big Brother is watching' or 'Cool, somebody's actually reading my blog'.
After that discussion, I decided that I wanted to know more about Lone Star. Well, it's almost 11 here and even if it weren't I wouldn't want to bore you with details with which you can bore yourself by simply searching for them in Google. But, I will say that Lone Star is in the process of buying out failing international banks - most recently in Germany. From these banks they will acquire billions - no, hundreds of billions - of dollars in bad debt. In what kind of business does my company engage? American Bankrupt debt. Not a far cry, if you think about it. A merger here, a buyout there and suddenly my company will be servicing some Bavarian family's bad debt.
Many questions remain. Can all of this work be outsourced? Can the operational part of the business be shipped to somewhere like Dallas or Oklahoma City where it's much cheaper to operate? Can this company grow to become a powerhouse company in the market? Will I have a job at this company in 6 months? in a year?
I don't know. But I do know that I hadn't asked these questions before that fateful Friday.
I left off on that Friday (8/29) when all hell broke loose. We had just attended a meeting at the Westin to listen to our new CEO, Ed, explain to us what had happened that day. The restructuring of the company. The mutual agreement for Erik to leave. The push to create a vision for our company. The push to make the company more profitable.
We had the weekend to think about it. And Labor Day to boot. I celebrated the end of the Softball World Series. I followed - somewhat - the opening day of college football. I set up my 'Random Rejoinders' blog to be viewed by the public. In essence, I tried to forget about what had happened.
And then I stepped into the Darth Vader building on Tuesday. I rode the recycled elevator to the 9th floor - successfully - and went to my desk. Toasted a bagel. Poured some tea. Got to work. Nothing had changed. I almost expected that Erik would walk around the corner. But no, that was real. Still, there wasn't much difference.
Now, before you start wondering - if you're wondering - if there was any talk of Erik that Monday - and even during that week - well, there was. There were those who had spoken to him over the Labor Day weekend, who heard his side of the story and told it. And then there were those who told a different story about what had happened. I heard that he left of his own accord; I heard that it wasn't his choice. I heard that there was a specific cause; I heard that he just didn't agree with the company's direction. I heard so many things about how and why Erik left that I choose not to discuss any of them lest this post turn into a gossip column.
Instead, I move forward with the happenings at the company. Well, I've already told you that there aren't many. So, I decided to start asking some questions. The first person? Well, the CEO of course. Now, you must understand that I feel that I know Ed relatively well. He went out on a limb and hired me at the company (another story). And then he took me into his accounting department fold and treated me exceptionally well. I have respect for the man based on past experience. So, it was nothing for me to knock on the door and start asking a few questions.
After I sat, I told Ed as clearly and as succinctly as possible that I didn't think my talents were being adequately used within the company. In addition, I told him that I hadn't really deployed a project since the third quarter of 2007 because all of my projects had been canceled for reasons completely out of my control.
He responded that he understood and already recognized the fact that the company was lacking a corporate vision. He said that Lone Star has a vision for us and, effectively, we have to see if we can insert ourselves into that vision. He told me it begins with a business management strategy named Six Sigma, a strategy that has increased production at companies like GE and Motorola. Pointing to his bookshelf, he offered for me to borrow any of his numerous books on the subject. He then told me that he intended for the project management group to be extracted from the Information Technology realm and placed at the Business Process realm to ensure that the company - on the whole - was proceeding as efficiently and effectively as possible with as little waste and error as possible.
A whole lotta jargon to say that the company's going to be restructured in its entirety, but not so quickly and immediately that it would send all of the employees reeling. Do I need to look for another job, I asked. He said he couldn't yet say, but he also said that if I was willing to immerse myself in Six Sigma methodology and drink the 'Kool Aid' then I'd be fine.
As we concluded our informal meeting, Ed added, 'I liked your blog'. I discovered that Ed has his search engine set to alert him any time my company's name is used. And so, because I did use the company's name in that post, he read the post and even commented. I wasn't sure exactly what to think when he said that to me. Either 'Big Brother is watching' or 'Cool, somebody's actually reading my blog'.
After that discussion, I decided that I wanted to know more about Lone Star. Well, it's almost 11 here and even if it weren't I wouldn't want to bore you with details with which you can bore yourself by simply searching for them in Google. But, I will say that Lone Star is in the process of buying out failing international banks - most recently in Germany. From these banks they will acquire billions - no, hundreds of billions - of dollars in bad debt. In what kind of business does my company engage? American Bankrupt debt. Not a far cry, if you think about it. A merger here, a buyout there and suddenly my company will be servicing some Bavarian family's bad debt.
Many questions remain. Can all of this work be outsourced? Can the operational part of the business be shipped to somewhere like Dallas or Oklahoma City where it's much cheaper to operate? Can this company grow to become a powerhouse company in the market? Will I have a job at this company in 6 months? in a year?
I don't know. But I do know that I hadn't asked these questions before that fateful Friday.
Friday, August 29, 2008
Corporation: The Game
I stepped into the Darth Vader building - what they call the slanted-roofed black glass building at 4th and Blanchard in downtown Seattle - at approximately 7:10 a.m. after waving goodbye to Joseph, who himself was lucky enough to have the day off. I entered a recycled elevator and pushed 9. I exited the recycled elevator on the 9th floor - this is not always guaranteed on any of these four recycled elevators - and beeped my way into the office space with my borrowed badge - I had inexplicably lost my badge two days prior for the first time in my six-year tenure at the company. I made my way to my desk where I was greeted by my favorite Dilbert cartoons and a football-shaped deflated Giants balloon that was given to me by none other than a Jets fan after the Giants' Super Bowl win. I sat in my chair, logged into my computer, and checked what little e-mail I had. I toasted my bagel in the nearby toaster, poured myself some hot water for my English Breakfast tea and settled in for the analysis of a data file.
I performed that analysis and various other project management odds and ends for the next hour or so and then checked the news for anything interesting. Sarah Palin had been chosen for McCain's running mate. Huh? I walked over to talk to my friend. Sounding like a broken record - I don't get it; I don't get it - I shook my head in disbelief. He agreed. I walked back to my desk, but decided I'd first share my disbelief with the developers. I walked into the Dev Pit - what we call the room in which the development team works - and said, I don't get it. Another friend of mine bit. What? The VP choice by McCain. Oh, she said, I don't know. I don't follow that. But the other devs were quick to chime in. Maybe McCain's giving up, one posited. He's trying to get the Hillary vote, suggested another. I dunno, I said, I just don't get it. I checked the clock on one of the dev's machines and realized I had a meeting in three minutes. I left the Dev Pit and headed for St. Helen's. No, not the mountain, the B-Line conference room.
I tried to get the overhead projector to project the computer screen. But it was on some other setting. So I saw a blue screen. I thought about using my meeting attendees to choreograph a light saber fight in front of the blue screen for the next Star Wars film. Then I thought better of it. I got help. Changed the setting. And someone else was logged in. I squinted, saw it was Mark Taylor. Who the hell is Mark Taylor, I asked to no one in particular. I've been at this company for six years, you see, and there are only 100 people. I know everyone. Well, not everyone apparently. A late attendee entered the room. We have an all IT meeting in 15 minutes, he said. Huh? I responded. Yeah, it's true and it's in here. All IT meetings, you see, are not a common occurrence. They may happen once a year if not less frequently. And it was called by Ed, the late attendee continued. Ed? That doesn't make any sense. Ed's the CFO, I said. Erik's the CIO. The late attendee shrugged. I shook my head and said, I don't get it. But I didn't have time not to get it. I had to find this Mark Taylor guy or an admin who could log this Mark Taylor off the machine because I had to try to facilitate a now 10-minute long meeting to find out if the project I'm managing is on schedule.
I walk out of St. Helen's and headed for the Net Ops room. The dba was the lone inhabitant. The machine in St. Helen's is locked by some guy named Mark Taylor, I said. Do you have any idea who that is? Uh yeah, he answered, I think he's the sales guy that sits over there. He pointed towards the window. Thanks. I moved to the cubicle near the window. Hi, I said, my name's David. Mark stood and said, David who? What a dummy, I thought to myself about myself. When introducing, it is polite to say first and last name. Well, when introducing in that setting. It could have been that I half expected him to know who I was anyway given that I'd been there so long - relatively speaking. Where are you on the org chart, he asked as he moved to three 8x11 sheets pinned to his wall. I noticed that his org chart was older than dirt - again, relatively speaking - and told him so without the dirt. I then asked him to log off the machine in St. Helen's. He accompanied me to the room and logged off.
I had the meeting. I think it was all of five minutes, which is all the time I had anyway. Updated meeting minutes and schedule. And went back to my desk for a quick look at my e-mail. Sure enough, I saw an all IT meeting called for 9:45 in St. Helen's. I went back into the room and sat in the corner with my English Breakfast tea. Others began arriving, including Ed. Oddly, Erik was nowhere to be found. Ed sat. We sat. Some stood. The door closed. We wanted to let you know as soon as possible, he began, that Erik will not be continuing with the company. I felt the collective intake of breath. Erik had been with the company for almost seven years. Only two in the IT group had been there longer. With that said, Ed continued, we're looking to move forward with this group of people. Please know that technology is a significant part of this company and that your jobs will not be affected. We waited with bated breath as he spoke each word. Erik and the company mutually agreed to go their separate ways. In the interim, we have an in-house consultant, with whom I've worked before, that will be acting as interim CIO or Director of IT. His name is Mark Taylor. I almost chuckled, but thought it not the right time. As if on queue, Mark, who had not been in the room, made an entrance after Ed spoke the name. And there's Mark, Ed announced. So without further ado, I'll let him speak. Ed left the room.
Mark, who cannot be more than 40, took a seat in the chair where Ed had sat and passed around a 30-60-90 transition plan. He introduced himself. He had started at Microsoft when it was a small company. And he had retired just after 30. Went backpacking through Europe. Yadda yadda... And then had decided to do consulting with companies that had to move into the 21st century as far as technology is concerned. In other words, he does this stuff for fun. Power to the Mark. He reiterated that he wouldn't be the CIO, that he was preparing the company for whoever would take that - or whatever - title happen to be bestowed. Then he started telling us a little bit about what was happening.
We - meaning B-Line, the company for which I work - is owned by Lone Star Funds. You know Lone Star Steakhouse? Yes, they own them. No, I can't get you discounts. But that's a drop in the bucket. Lone Star Funds can be described as a bottom feeder. Do you remember what the Richard Gere character did in Pretty Woman? That's kind of what Lone Star Funds does. They buy companies and either tear them apart - if they're not on track to make a lot of money - or build them up - if they are. It seems B-Line is one of the latter. Having owned B-Line for two years now, Lone Star Funds is now prepared to invest a significant amount of money into the company so that they can sell it for twice to three times the investment after about a three-year period. Well, the old organizational structure wasn't working as well as Lone Star wanted it to work. And so, they were looking for an opportunity to change. This morning happened to be that opportunity.
Why this morning? If I knew that, I'd be making significantly more money than I am now. I appreciated Mark's apparent sincerity and honesty, but to be honest, I still felt like I had been knocked several times upside the head. What does this mean for my projects? For the company? For my job? For others' jobs? Well, one thing was certain, I knew my productivity for the remainder of the day was shot to hell. And when I walked into the Dev Pit, I knew the developers' productivity was equally shot. I lingered about talking to them. And then they asked me what I thought this meant. In all of my thoughts about what this meant for the company, I had completely forgotten that I was now the third most tenured person in the department. I looked around and saw that everyone in the Dev Pit had come to work for the company not only after I had begun working there but after I had begun working in IT which was a full two and a half years after I had started in accounting. I reassured them that the company was good about ensuring that people had jobs in the past. But I added, much to their chagrin, that every one of us is expendable as evidenced by Erik's departure.
I lingered at my desk taking - as I'd once heard it called - an in-cube sabbatical. A company-wide meeting was called for 2 p.m. at the Westin Hotel, a few blocks away. After having a coffee with a friend, we traipsed to the Westin and listened as Ed explained that the organizational structure was changing so that we could increase our productivity by 160%. Not an easy task. He was going to be CEO. The CEO was downgraded - kind of - to President. The other C-level positions - CIO (information), CFO (finance), CLO (legal) - would cease to exist, leaving in their respective wakes Director positions. It would be business as usual, he explained. Except that we are going to move together and blossom into a company that fulfills its, to this date, unactualized potential. In other words, we have to start making money or risk being torn asunder by the very hands that feed us.
I leave you with a quotation I think appropriate:
I see in the near future a crisis approaching that unnerves me and causes me to tremble for the safety of my country; corporations have been enthroned, an era of corruption in high places will follow, and the money power of the country will endeavor to prolong its reign by working upon the prejudices of the people, until the wealth is aggregated in a few hands, and the Republic destroyed.
It seems rather appropriate, yes? Abraham Lincoln spoke this in 1864.
I performed that analysis and various other project management odds and ends for the next hour or so and then checked the news for anything interesting. Sarah Palin had been chosen for McCain's running mate. Huh? I walked over to talk to my friend. Sounding like a broken record - I don't get it; I don't get it - I shook my head in disbelief. He agreed. I walked back to my desk, but decided I'd first share my disbelief with the developers. I walked into the Dev Pit - what we call the room in which the development team works - and said, I don't get it. Another friend of mine bit. What? The VP choice by McCain. Oh, she said, I don't know. I don't follow that. But the other devs were quick to chime in. Maybe McCain's giving up, one posited. He's trying to get the Hillary vote, suggested another. I dunno, I said, I just don't get it. I checked the clock on one of the dev's machines and realized I had a meeting in three minutes. I left the Dev Pit and headed for St. Helen's. No, not the mountain, the B-Line conference room.
I tried to get the overhead projector to project the computer screen. But it was on some other setting. So I saw a blue screen. I thought about using my meeting attendees to choreograph a light saber fight in front of the blue screen for the next Star Wars film. Then I thought better of it. I got help. Changed the setting. And someone else was logged in. I squinted, saw it was Mark Taylor. Who the hell is Mark Taylor, I asked to no one in particular. I've been at this company for six years, you see, and there are only 100 people. I know everyone. Well, not everyone apparently. A late attendee entered the room. We have an all IT meeting in 15 minutes, he said. Huh? I responded. Yeah, it's true and it's in here. All IT meetings, you see, are not a common occurrence. They may happen once a year if not less frequently. And it was called by Ed, the late attendee continued. Ed? That doesn't make any sense. Ed's the CFO, I said. Erik's the CIO. The late attendee shrugged. I shook my head and said, I don't get it. But I didn't have time not to get it. I had to find this Mark Taylor guy or an admin who could log this Mark Taylor off the machine because I had to try to facilitate a now 10-minute long meeting to find out if the project I'm managing is on schedule.
I walk out of St. Helen's and headed for the Net Ops room. The dba was the lone inhabitant. The machine in St. Helen's is locked by some guy named Mark Taylor, I said. Do you have any idea who that is? Uh yeah, he answered, I think he's the sales guy that sits over there. He pointed towards the window. Thanks. I moved to the cubicle near the window. Hi, I said, my name's David. Mark stood and said, David who? What a dummy, I thought to myself about myself. When introducing, it is polite to say first and last name. Well, when introducing in that setting. It could have been that I half expected him to know who I was anyway given that I'd been there so long - relatively speaking. Where are you on the org chart, he asked as he moved to three 8x11 sheets pinned to his wall. I noticed that his org chart was older than dirt - again, relatively speaking - and told him so without the dirt. I then asked him to log off the machine in St. Helen's. He accompanied me to the room and logged off.
I had the meeting. I think it was all of five minutes, which is all the time I had anyway. Updated meeting minutes and schedule. And went back to my desk for a quick look at my e-mail. Sure enough, I saw an all IT meeting called for 9:45 in St. Helen's. I went back into the room and sat in the corner with my English Breakfast tea. Others began arriving, including Ed. Oddly, Erik was nowhere to be found. Ed sat. We sat. Some stood. The door closed. We wanted to let you know as soon as possible, he began, that Erik will not be continuing with the company. I felt the collective intake of breath. Erik had been with the company for almost seven years. Only two in the IT group had been there longer. With that said, Ed continued, we're looking to move forward with this group of people. Please know that technology is a significant part of this company and that your jobs will not be affected. We waited with bated breath as he spoke each word. Erik and the company mutually agreed to go their separate ways. In the interim, we have an in-house consultant, with whom I've worked before, that will be acting as interim CIO or Director of IT. His name is Mark Taylor. I almost chuckled, but thought it not the right time. As if on queue, Mark, who had not been in the room, made an entrance after Ed spoke the name. And there's Mark, Ed announced. So without further ado, I'll let him speak. Ed left the room.
Mark, who cannot be more than 40, took a seat in the chair where Ed had sat and passed around a 30-60-90 transition plan. He introduced himself. He had started at Microsoft when it was a small company. And he had retired just after 30. Went backpacking through Europe. Yadda yadda... And then had decided to do consulting with companies that had to move into the 21st century as far as technology is concerned. In other words, he does this stuff for fun. Power to the Mark. He reiterated that he wouldn't be the CIO, that he was preparing the company for whoever would take that - or whatever - title happen to be bestowed. Then he started telling us a little bit about what was happening.
We - meaning B-Line, the company for which I work - is owned by Lone Star Funds. You know Lone Star Steakhouse? Yes, they own them. No, I can't get you discounts. But that's a drop in the bucket. Lone Star Funds can be described as a bottom feeder. Do you remember what the Richard Gere character did in Pretty Woman? That's kind of what Lone Star Funds does. They buy companies and either tear them apart - if they're not on track to make a lot of money - or build them up - if they are. It seems B-Line is one of the latter. Having owned B-Line for two years now, Lone Star Funds is now prepared to invest a significant amount of money into the company so that they can sell it for twice to three times the investment after about a three-year period. Well, the old organizational structure wasn't working as well as Lone Star wanted it to work. And so, they were looking for an opportunity to change. This morning happened to be that opportunity.
Why this morning? If I knew that, I'd be making significantly more money than I am now. I appreciated Mark's apparent sincerity and honesty, but to be honest, I still felt like I had been knocked several times upside the head. What does this mean for my projects? For the company? For my job? For others' jobs? Well, one thing was certain, I knew my productivity for the remainder of the day was shot to hell. And when I walked into the Dev Pit, I knew the developers' productivity was equally shot. I lingered about talking to them. And then they asked me what I thought this meant. In all of my thoughts about what this meant for the company, I had completely forgotten that I was now the third most tenured person in the department. I looked around and saw that everyone in the Dev Pit had come to work for the company not only after I had begun working there but after I had begun working in IT which was a full two and a half years after I had started in accounting. I reassured them that the company was good about ensuring that people had jobs in the past. But I added, much to their chagrin, that every one of us is expendable as evidenced by Erik's departure.
I lingered at my desk taking - as I'd once heard it called - an in-cube sabbatical. A company-wide meeting was called for 2 p.m. at the Westin Hotel, a few blocks away. After having a coffee with a friend, we traipsed to the Westin and listened as Ed explained that the organizational structure was changing so that we could increase our productivity by 160%. Not an easy task. He was going to be CEO. The CEO was downgraded - kind of - to President. The other C-level positions - CIO (information), CFO (finance), CLO (legal) - would cease to exist, leaving in their respective wakes Director positions. It would be business as usual, he explained. Except that we are going to move together and blossom into a company that fulfills its, to this date, unactualized potential. In other words, we have to start making money or risk being torn asunder by the very hands that feed us.
I leave you with a quotation I think appropriate:
I see in the near future a crisis approaching that unnerves me and causes me to tremble for the safety of my country; corporations have been enthroned, an era of corruption in high places will follow, and the money power of the country will endeavor to prolong its reign by working upon the prejudices of the people, until the wealth is aggregated in a few hands, and the Republic destroyed.
It seems rather appropriate, yes? Abraham Lincoln spoke this in 1864.
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