It's Personal: A Letter...

I had no ideas for the evening. Nothing particularly interesting happened today. The dogs haven't done anything noteworthy. Nor have the cats. I finally submitted my application to Seattle University for the MBA program, but that doesn't take much space to say. Pittsburgh beat Denver. I don't care overly much. And I don't have any idea what's wrong with the Jints. I wish I knew. Yeah, really nothing.

And then I decided to look back through my journals. I began in 1998. But for the first year, I didn't keep good track of dates. I found nothing of note in November of 1999, a time that I'd rather forget in any case. But then I looked through the white binder that held my thoughts from the year 2000. I came across a letter I had written. But to give you some flavor, I will first sample from a paper I wrote for Fr. Connor's Introduction to the Spiritual Life in May 2001.

'During February of 2000, the seminarians from Hartford discovered that they were going to Rome for the Jubilee year. All of us were ecstatic.. We could not believe the Archdiocese would pay for such an expense. In any case, we began to prepare for the trip. We looked through some Italian phrase books; we analyzed maps so that we would know our way through the city.

'I was more than excited because this would mean my first trip overseas. In addition, the vocation director hinted at the fact that we might be able to have a private audience with the Pope. Generally, I do not become excited at the mention of celebrities. But the Pope is so much more than a celebrity. And this Pope, specifically, has become a personal hero for me. I began to listen to the Pope's rendition of the Pater Noster each morning as I readied myself for work and school. In addition, I began to read books written by and about him. I wanted to know as much as I could about the man whom I was going to meet.

'The date of our pilgrimage came, and we traveled to the Eternal City on November 6th. We attended the papal audience the next day, but no one had mentioned the private audience. I became worried and started talking to my brother seminarians. We finally asked the priests, and they responded with blank stares. No one had arranged for a meeting with His Holiness. I did not give up - nor did my brothers. We had heard that we could deliver a hand-written note to the Swiss Guard at 6 a.m. in which we could request a private audience.'

And so I personally wrote the following letter on November 7, 2000:

'Dear Father Dziwisz, (Pope John Paul's secretary)

The seminarians of the Archdiocese of Hartford request a private audience with His Holiness Pope John Paul II as part of our pilgrimage during this, the Holy Jubilee Year of 2000. We shall be in the Eternal City until Friday evening, and we feel that this private audience would enrich our respective vocations. In our ranks, we have two men who will be ordained to the priesthood in May as well as another who is preparing for his ordination to the diaconate in January. In addition, 15 others are in theology, pre-theology, and college. Please contact Robert _____ in Rm 367 of the Quality Hotel Regent on the Via Filippo Civinni, 46 (Pavioli) 00197 Roma.

We thank you for your time and we pray that we may have the opportunity to meet the Beloved Vicar of Christ.'

We gave it to one of the Swiss Guard at 6 a.m. on the morning of 11/8. I give to you the remainder of the paper written in May 2001.

'Alas, we never received the call. Fate had dashed my dreams. I knew that I should have been happy about seeing him at all. I knew that this pilgrimage was itself a gift from God. I knew that I was celebrating the Jubilee Year of 2000 in the birthplace of Roman Catholicism. But none of these reasonable truths kept me from the disappointment that I felt. I wanted so badly to meet the Pope.'

Yes, I was disappointed. But the final paragraph of that paper revealed that there are always silver linings.

'Meanwhile, I struggle onward. As I reach the end of my first year in the seminary I know that I have a long way to go in my formation. I still need to be less prideful. I still need to listen better. I still need to pray more fervently. I still need to control my appetites. While I progress, however, I can take comfort in at least one thing. A good source has informed me that the Pope reads all letters that people write requesting private audiences. If this is true, the Pope has read a letter written by my hand. And, because our names were on that sheet, the Pope is praying for us. I can imagine no better person... except perhaps my grandmother.'

Nine years ago. And I still consider Pope John Paul II a hero. And I can still imagine no better person praying for me than my grandmother...