It's Personal: Free Pastry

Names have been changed to protect the incoherent. No, not really. I'll use the real names; I don't think they'll mind.

Karina gave us coupons. Well, gave us each the same coupon. I think she gave it to others too. It wasn't one of those unique coupons for a free trip to the moon or anything. It was a coupon printed from her email, I think. A coupon for a free pastry at Starbucks. Of course, there was a caveat; you had to buy a drink too. Easy.

When I arrived this morning, the copied coupon stared at me. I placed it on my desk where I couldn't miss it. I didn't miss it. I walked into Olympus and waved the coupon. 'You wanna go?' she asked. 'Yep,' I said. So, we hightailed it downstairs. Well, I can't say it was exactly hightailing given the speed of the elevators in the building. So, I suppose it's more accurate to say we hightailed it to the elevators and then meandered downward into the abyss of the lobby.

We exited the elevator and looked toward the Starbucks located conveniently in the lobby of the building. A line. Were we surprised? Nah. I mean, we couldn't have been the only ones who knew about the free pastry. It was a nationwide thing, after all. So, we traded glances and she said, 'Later?' I nodded, 'Yep.' So, we walked back to the elevator, meanderingly ascended and loped back to our desks.

The team engaged in meetings for one hour and forty-five minutes.

Right, forgot to tell you an important catch. The free pastry coupon was only good on March 23rd until 10:30 a.m. Pacific. So, we stopped the meeting at 10:15 a.m. Pacific. Tara and I retrieved our coupons. And we hightailed it to the elevators again. We hit the lobby somewhere in the 10:20 a.m. Pacific timeframe. We looked towards Starbucks. No line. We half jogged to the front doors.

We looked across the store and spied the case that held the pastries. It wasn't empty. Success. With ten minutes to spare. The manager and a peon watched as Tara and I traversed the tiny store. The peon, usually bordering on mute, became suddenly animated. 'Oh, are you here for the free pastry?' she asked as she watched us wave the coupons like a banner. Her tone next bordered on aggresive, 'Those pastries aren't free; we can't give them away.'

I had made it to the case before Tara. I saw doughnuts, muffins, cookies, and pastries plenty. No, it wasn't stocked. But there they were in all their calorific glory. And we still had eight minutes.

She continued to explain, more in a pleading way, 'We have to sell some pastries today. The supply was limited like it says on the coupon.' Yes, in fact there in bold was the statement that supply was limited. The peon settled. 'Can I get anything started for you?'

Tara looked like she was somewhere between perplexed and vexed. Closer to vexed if I had to choose. She didn't look directly at the peon. I was a little concerned that she would. The peon repeated the question about whether we wanted anything. Tara turned briefly and said succinctly, 'No.' I followed suit but with an attempted smile. I'm not sure it came off. Not that I care altogether much.

We walked back to the elevators. I said, 'It just doesn't make business sense.' Tara said something to the effect of 'It's firetrucking stupid.' Except it wasn't firetrucking. And we ascended in the slow elevators back to the conference room.

Empty handed again.