Monday, September 22, 2008

Getting to Know Me: A Night at the Movies

Good evening...

Well, it is my intention to share with you the ethereal and the mundane - definitely more the latter - of my life. And so, every so often I'll offer opinions about exceptionally mundane topics. My goal is to bore you with incessant tripe - which can be defined either as utter rubbish or cattle intestine. This entry should fall somewhere between the two.

The first movie I remember seeing in the theater. You know, I couldn't tell you. There are those people in the world who happen to remember their pre-womb existence as an ant ready to be ground into ant-meal by Nancy Sinatra's boots. I personally don't have the ability to put into a meaningful chronological order any happenings in my life up until about age ten. With that said, I remember Goonies, Back to the Future, Return of the Jedi, and Gremlins. Enjoyed them all at the time. And I bet you couldn't guess which I'd still consider to be among my top favorites of all time. Well, some of you could, but don't tell. You'll find out later.

The first movie I remember seeing period? Oh Lord. No idea. I know I saw Patton about 1300 times as a kid. And the Sound of Music or Gung Ho every time I went to see my paternal grandparents. An odd fact. I've only ever been to the movies once with my maternal grandparents, and we went to see Snow White and the Seven Dwarves. They're also the older white folks - phrase stolen from my uncle - who have never owned a VCR, let alone a DVD player, and who barely know how to set their thermostat.

Scariest movie ever? Tie. Hated Jaws. Still do. Couldn't look at a shark until I was about 15. And then there was this movie about piranhas aptly named Piranha that scared the utter bejesus out of me. I ran up the stairs so fast when I saw that old fisherman's legs severed at the knees; didn't sleep right for a week.

Scariest scene. The Godfather. The toll booth. 'Nuff said.

Funniest movie. I don't have one. Don't get me wrong, I like lots of comedies. But none that I can watch over and over. Blazing Saddles. Holy Grail. Silence of the Lambs. Just checking. Yeah, I guess it just ain't my genre.

Movie that makes me cry. I've said it already in this blog. Do you remember? Field of Dreams. Kevin Costner playing catch with his dad. Gets me every time.

Movie that freaked me out the most. The Game with Michael Douglas and Sean Penn. If you haven't seen it, go watch it.

Movies that I will most likely never watch again. Schindler's List. Saving Private Ryan (first 20 minutes). The Passion of the Christ. Too difficult to watch.

Biggest disappointment. Now, this movie wasn't a disappointment. It was, in fact, probably the director's best to date. But, the day after it came out a friend said, he's dead. Yeah, you all know to which movie I refer.

Best superhero movie? Some would say Iron Man. Yes, it was good. Spiderman, also a good trio. Superman - the original. Certainly a candidate. X-Men? Second one ranks in the top five. The Incredible Hulk? Eh. Ghost Rider. No. Hellboy. Cult classic, maybe, but no. It's Batman. Both of the most recent. The original and the sequel were good too. No doubt. But I think Nolan just has the pulse of the character. Awesome.

Box sets that were purchased for me. Star Wars. Indiana Jones. Star Trek. The Bourne Series. Back to the Future. Die Hard. Lord of the Rings. That should give you some indication of the my leanings as regards movies.

Which brings me to an opinion. I will not go to the movies to watch romantic comedies. I'll most likely not be watching those anyway. I won't go for comedies. I won't go for most dramas. I won't go for foreign films. It's not because I don't like the movies. It's because I'm cheap. Even the matinees are ridiculous. No, give me the special effects with big bangs and space shots and such.

Guilty pleasure. All of the Disney Pixar films.

Documentary? Tie between The Civil War and Baseball.

A movie that I will watch no matter how bad? Any underdog sports story. From the good ones like Hoosiers to the questionable ones like Little Giants. Mystery, Alaska. The Mighty Ducks. The Bad News Bears. Glory Road. Remember the Titans. Friday Night Lights. Can't help it. Gotta watch.

Best movie with no action whatsoever of any kind? Mindwalk. Awesome. If you can sit and watch people walk around Mont St. Michel, watch it.

Okay, I'm ready for my ice cream so I shall now reveal what I tell everyone is my favorite movie and what movie I really will watch over and over without stopping. The former? Shawshank Redemption. The latter? Back to the Future. Love the Delorian. Love the Flux Capacitor. Love the premise. Love the line, 'Who's Vice President, Jerry Lewis?' and 'Great Scott' and '1.21 Jigowatts'.

There you have it. Movies at a glance, TD style. And now I must be off...

'Roads? Where we're going, we don't need roads...'

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