Revenge of the Disposal

Three days ago, I cheerily boasted of a successful home improvement project. Joseph and I had successfully installed a garbage disposal...

Tonight, the disposal had its revenge. Karma blitzkrieged me.

Joseph cooked. He always cooks, much to his bipolar delight and chagrin. And I couldn't even call it cooking this evening. He put a few pieces of frozen chicken and tater tots into the oven. He subsequently delivered said victuals to our dinner trays in the living room and commenced watching America's Next Top Model. No, I'm not a fan. Yes, Joseph is. The girls were strutting in Amsterdam this week; that's all I know.

After we each finished our respective meals, I seized the plates and placed them on the kitchen counter. It was at that moment that I had remembered it; the dishes in the dishwasher were clean. I opened the dishwasher and began extracting plates and bowls and utensils and tupperware and such. All soaked. Well, not soaked, soaked. But certainly wetter than usual. I looked down at the door and noticed the Jet Dry indicator was empty. That must be the reason, I thought to myself.

I thus continued with the extraction and then began the rinsing and insertion of the dirty dishes. Only a few. When I had finished, I inadvertently glanced at the bottom of the dishwasher and saw that there lingered stagnant, soapy water. My nose immediately noticed the oddly pungent odor emanating: cleanly refuse is the best way to describe it.

Do you know what the problem was? Well, I certainly didn't.

I rather dramatically announced to Joseph that something was wrong with the dishwasher. Joseph initially stated that it was the garbage disposal. I didn't disagree, but I couldn't see the connection. Still, it made sense.

We started talking about the warranty and a plumber and all that jazz. Still, I needed to consult with my trusty, dusty office tool. The Internet.

The google entry was simple. 'Dishwasher won't drain'. I believe in the KISS principle. First item returned: "Got a Dishwasher that Won't Drain? Here's How to Troubleshoot the Problem". Click. And there, on the second paragraph from the bottom on the first page, was my explanation.

I sighed heavily and moved to my file cabinet. I yanked the drawer open and rummaged through the hanging folders. I came to the set of user manuals. For the fan that we threw out a year ago. For the vacuum that died two years ago. For the TV that's still working in the living room. For the iron. For the Xbox. For the Insinkerator Badger 5 Garbage Disposal.

I stalked to the kitchen and unfolded the map-like instructions on the kitchen counter. Joseph pointed to it. The box with the big octagon-stop sign shaped illustration where it says: 'Stop and Read'. I hadn't. Until then. And it said, if you need to attach a dishwasher turn the disposer on its side and insert screwdriver into dishwasher inlet. What it doesn't say - but what it shows - is that you have to hammer the screwdriver into that inlet until the tiny plastic piece called the knockout plug gets - well - knocked out.

We did that. And I ran the dishwasher. And it drained. And I cursed all home improvement projects with their tiny blasted pieces of dark green plastic blocking water across the globe...