It's Personal: Cancún

Here I sit. The downpour causing streams to straddle the roadway outside. An odd rain as Seattle is not accustomed to this constant heavy rain. The dogs still unsure if we're coming or going. The cats not caring much whether we come or go. Joseph watching Dancing with the Stars after his first day at a new job. I blogging.

We're back.

Well, how was it? Did you like it? Was it relaxing? Should I sit next to you? Should I wear a mask? Yes, yes, I'll get there.

But first, I begin at the beginning. At 2:30 a.m. on April 25th. A perky Asian man from Shuttle Express arrived in our driveway to whisk us away to the airport. He explained that he liked cats. And that he liked the night shift since it was so quiet. Ironically, he wasn't quiet. I tuned him out and concentrated on the yellow line outside so as not to fall asleep.

Something called swine flu flashed on the televisions at the airport. Great, we thought, it originated in Mexico. But we weren't turning back.

The flight from Seattle to Phoenix? Fine. No problem.

Landed in Phoenix and rushed to Burger King. Rushed back to the terminal. Ready to board. Boarding time came. And went. Delayed. An hour passed. US Air gave us no updates. Then they changed the gate. Not a huge change. We waited another 30 minutes. The plane pulled up. Finally. We boarded. The captain comes on. We have a maintenance issue; it should only be 30 minutes. Those 30 minutes pass. The captain comes on again. The mechanics are troubleshooting. Joseph does not like all this talk of maintenance issues. 'They should get us a new plane if this one's broke,' he said to no one in particular. The captain came on again. Said it was fixed. On our way.

A long flight, but nothing of note to recount. Except that I can't sleep on planes. And I'd been up since 2:30. I was a bit cranky.

Arrived in the airport. Got through all the hoops. And then were surrounded by people offering a Grey Line cab to our hotel of choice. We saw Grey Line and thought it was legitimate. There was a Grey Line bus company in Seattle, after all. And they told us the trip would be a good distance. They charged 500 pesos for the trip. Not thinking anything of it, we paid.

We exited to find that there were people from the resort ready to take us. We told them that we hadn't purchased a transfer ahead of time and thus we figured we couldn't get a ride. He asked how much we paid. When we answered, he chuckled. Just what you want to hear after no sleep and maintenance issues. The transfers cost half what we paid for the private taxi.

Dumb foreigners.

We took the cab and sailed along the road to Club Med, caring little about this ridiculous situation. We pulled up and were immediately bombarded with Mexican men and women offering warm facecloths and small glasses of some kind of alcohol beverage. I wanted and took neither. Just the room, please.

They lead us to the room. We had to swipe our card to get in. Didn't work. Tried again. Nothing. Are ya kidding? The small Mexican women strolled back to the front desk and retrieved more card keys. She strolled back and tried them again. Nothing. Again. Nothing. Another maintenance issue. She went to get the maintenance guy. I obsessively waved the stupid card in front of the sensor. I tried a wrist flick. A 'z' motion. Everything. Tara and Ashley - the friends with whom we enjoyed the vacation - showed up at that moment. They suggested I hold the card against the sensor. I did. It opened. Thank God!

The maintenance guy came by later and replaced the batteries in the sensor. Everything worked fine from then on out.

Watched a series of acrobatics that evening. The evening's entertainment. Didn't much care. Just sat and drank my Miami Vice, half piña colada and half strawberry daiquiri. Then went to play ping pong and drink until 1 a.m. Which was only 11 p.m. on the west coast. So I didn't quite make 24 hours. But close.

The next day, I woke up late and sat in the sun. Applied sunblock multiple times throughout the day. Swam in the ocean. Ate with the girls at the local eateries. The food wasn't particularly spectacular. But it wasn't bad either. For an all inclusive, I was impressed enough. Plus the drinks were included. I paced.

Got out of the sun and, looking at my skin, thought I had only burned my right upper thigh. Got into the shower in the room. Didn't hurt. Figured I had escaped the worst of the sun. Figured it was because I had applied the sunblock so well.

Visited the market briefly in Cancún itself. Haggled with people. Almost bought a New York Football Giants poncho. But couldn't haggle the guy down enough. My only regret of the trip.

Saw Erin Foley that evening. A comedienne. Somewhat funny. I have to admit that I haven't really enjoyed most of the comedians I've seen. I certainly didn't laugh out loud. Just watched and smiled every so often.

She made fun of swine flu. The girls asked us if they'd missed something. I told them they had. We had watched CNN briefly that day and saw that the swine flu had risen to level 4 on the disease scale. Obama said not to close the borders. But the European countries did.

Walked around a bit afterward. Ended up back in the room.

Woke up the next day. In pain. Yeah, that sunblock hadn't helped all that much. Top of the feet. Legs. Arms. Face. Neck. I had escaped with my chest and stomach rather unscathed because of my self-consciousness about that part of my body. In retrospect, I should have dressed in jeans and a long sleeve shirt. Ouch.

The days begin to squish together. As they should in any vacation that goes mostly unplanned.

We visited Tulum. A Mayan city that the Mayans had defended against the Spanish successfully in the early 16th century. Alas, Cortés decided to attack from inland. He poisoned the rivers and killed off most of the population with disease. Nice guy.

We watched Frida - as in Frida Kahlo - on the bus ride back. Seemingly a good movie, except the DVD the tour guide had was horribly scratched.

Saw an ex-Mousketeer perform that evening. Not an Annette Funicello Mousketeer. More a Britney Spears Mousketeer. She sang and told jokes. Great voice. Good humor. Very enjoyable.

The next day, took a catamaran to La Isla de las Mujeres (Island of the Women). Joseph and the girls snorkeled. Since I couldn't wear my glasses under water, I figured it wasn't such a great idea for me. All I'd have seen would have been multicolored blurs. With my luck, some barracuda would decide to take a niblle at my big toe. We had lunch on the island and then sailed to the market area. A bunch of people ready to rip us off.

It's weird to haggle. It's not a skill most Americans learn from living in the states. Except, perhaps, for buying a car. I don't think I'm very good at it. I'll have to work on it.

Spent the last couple days relaxing. And staying out of the sun. I found shade everywhere I could. And if there wasn't a shady spot, I went inside somewhere.

Now you all know why Seattle suits me so well.

Visited the hotel strip the second to last night and had a taste of America. A quick note for those of you who haven't visited the tourist portion of Cancún, it's not really Mexico. There's an Outback, multiple Starbucks, and other varied American chains. I wasn't impressed. But so many want to get away from home but still have what they consider to be all the comforts.

Other highlights (before I tell of our departure)?

I drank the water. It was supposedly filtered. And I wasn't visited by Montezuma once.

Iguanas everywhere. Tara fed them bananas.

We ate very little Mexican food. They didn't serve much of it at the resort. I did, however, have wild boar. And had no idea - as it turned out - that they also served crocodile and ostrich in the buffet on other nights when we ate elsewhere.

Every time I visited the bar with the girls, the Mexican men ogled the girls. Uncomfortably. Rather odd.

Saw very few people wearing masks. CNN told people not to hug, kiss, or shake hands with strangers. The people at the resort also put hand sanitizer in front of the restaurants for our use. And they told us to wash our hands after going to the bathroom. Do people really need to be told to do that?

Read a book. Soon I Will Be Invincible by Austin Grossman. Not bad for some fluff reading.

Listened to the Mexican workers and tried to determine what they were saying. When I didn't understand, I figured I had lost all ability to understand Spanish. Then, I found out they were speaking Mayan. The only Native American language in that area that people still speak on a large scale. Millions of people speak it, in fact.

Saw an alligator in the lagoon on the other side - we were between the ocean and a lagoon. He just sat there.

Briefly watched the Smurfs in Spanish. Weird.

Spent 15 minutes each day checking in at work on the computer. Could have been worse.

Was wondering if we'd get quarantined when we got back to the states or if they'd just keep us at Club Med.

Learned to love aloe again.

And then we left.

We discovered that the entire hotel strip was to be shut down for the week of Cinco de Mayo as a result of the swine flu. What a blow to their economy. In fact, at Club Med they had originally anticipated a full house. But of the approx 1000 people who were supposed to come, 992 had canceled. More because there were no flights going into the country.

But we had no problem getting out. They took our temperature and told us we were fine to go. Arrived in Phoenix and the customs guy asked if we had anything we shouldn't. I said no, and we proceeded. Crazy.

Made it back to Seattle. And then made it home. A good ending, all in all.

And here we are. Joseph still watching Dancing with the Stars. And I still blogging.

Many thanks for the thoughts and prayers especially for our safe return...

Ciao